Living a Purposeful Life

Posted on February 16, 2010 by James Ladd, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

As a personal coach I am surprised and still taken aback by how often I encounter people who regardless of their age, station in life; their position, the power they wield, influence and money they possess, are not in touch with the very essence of who they are and by extension the purpose or meaning of their lives, or to put it more succinctly the very essential reason for their existence.

Life is a continuous “construction project” and as I have stated in this bulletin before, it is about the journey (process) and not the destination (outcome). Implied here is that if we always tell ourselves the truth and take responsibility for our lives, we will value and therefore open ourselves up to life long learning and in the process a greater understanding of who we are and are becoming, and where we are intended to be in this complicated world we have created.

How we choose to learn is critical to our progression toward what Abraham Maslow called the highest order need; “self-actualization,” or the meaning of one’s life? We have choices here; we can just take life as it comes or make a decision to take control to the degree that the forces of nature will allow and approach it strategically, accelerating our personal growth in the process.

As a personal coach, perhaps your personal coach one day, I can support and guide you in strategically sorting through this at any stage in your life. Being able to make this statement is a bit of a leap for me, considering my early life experiences.

When I think back to my high school days I remember being just a little bit envious of the guys who knew what they wanted to be when they grew up! They seemed so sure about what came after high school; what they would take at university, what they would do after and where they would do it. Me on the other hand, I had no clue. Being a romantic and something of a dreamer, I had a lot of different ideas, thoughts and feelings banging around in my head but nothing seemed to stick!

So finally I did what I thought was the right thing and tried to become an accountant because well, my father was one and because I was sure he wanted me to be one. By the end of my first year in Registered Industrial Accounting, I believe I had the worst marks in the history of the Program. I can only imagine what my dad thought. I never asked! So much for being an accountant, the noble profession that it is.

There would be many other starts and stops along the way until I “stumbled” into the field of personnel and industrial relations as it was called back in the 70’s. I had found my path! Over the years that followed I raised my first family, studied at university in the evenings, worked in the fields of; human resource management, training and development, addictions, employee assistance, organizational development and even found time to coach football in the community. During this time I began to experience a greater self-awareness, an increased congruence with and between those things that I was doing in my life and in the process came to understand that knowing who you are, accepting yourself and having a purpose to your life were essential ingredients to success, health and happiness over the long haul. What I sometimes like to call the symptoms of getting it right!!

My struggles in life are your struggles too, we share this journey together. Because of what my life has presented me and because of what I strategically went after, I have come to a place of knowing and understanding who I am and am becoming, and in particular knowing that life and my efforts have been leading me to my purpose or mission. The place I find myself today. Oh yes, there are still mistakes but fewer, still stressful days but for the most part I take them in stride understanding they will pass, still have to apologize for my behaviour sometimes, I forget more than I used to, don’t hear as well either but am sometimes seen as possessing insight even wisdom, still worry about whether or not I did the right things for my kids while they were growing up and still even experience an occasional “twinge” of post-traumatic stress left over from my four year lung transplant journey but have learned to lean into the discomfort, persevere with discipline and a philosophical view of it all.

Oh, and by the way, progressing along this path, I came to realize sometime ago that I need not have been so envious of my old school buddies. They may have known what they wanted to do after high school but like me, they were no more in touch with who they were and what their life purpose was to be. That comes much later, if it comes at all.

Just remember that you can only be at your “very best” with your family, friends, employer and community by first knowing yourself and than pursuing your life’s purpose.

Have a great summer, you most certainly deserve it.

Coach Ladd