How To Disappoint People As An Empath
Posted on April 06, 2023 by Michael Ian Cedar, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
Do you hate the feeling of disappointing people? I used to. Even the THOUGHT of disappointing people would paralyze me.
In the past, disappointing people prevented me from living a life on my terms. I’d find myself…
- losing sleep over-thinking
- allowing my personal boundaries to be broken regularly
- never allowing recovery time for myself
- staying in jobs and relationships way too long
- sitting in guilt and anxiety for days, weeks, months
- acting out of aligning with my values, leading me to lie and hide information
- not being my true self
I really care…a lot…and I don’t like emotionally hurting other people. So I had to create a way to let people down and limit the amount of damage done. I call this tool the disappointment parachute. The disappointment parachute helped me find my way out of a life full of crippling guilt and anxiety.
As an empath, there are certain laws we must learn in regards to disappointment:
- Disappointing people is just a part of living a life on your terms. It’s inevitable.
- Disappointment is part of nature. All humans are equipped with it.
- Disappointment is simply an indicator that we’re not getting our way.
Once we learn these laws of disappointment, we can deploy the disappointment parachute.
Be it a friend who wants to go to dinner, a deadline that I missed for my team, or telling someone I don’t want them in my life anymore, I can use my disappointment parachute to navigate every scenario where I will be letting someone down.
Imagine a scenario where you need to disappoint someone. Before going to that person with your news, imagine putting a parachute on yourself AND the other person. Imagine telling that person the news and them kicking and screaming. Imagine pulling the parachute cord on them and you, floating down to earth, and landing on the ground effortlessly. Everything’s okay. You’re okay. And they’re okay.
In real life, when you are disappointing someone, if the person ends up kicking and screaming, straighten your spine, imagine pulling the parachute cord, and let the conversation play out, just as if you both are floating down to earth.
Most of the time, when you go to “let someone down”, you’ll find that the conversation you had in your head is far worse than the conversation that actually occurs. The chance to “pull the parachute cord” doesn’t even come up.
What will life be like if you SPEAK YOUR TRUTH FASTER AND CLEARER? That’s what the disappointment parachute allows. If I know I have the parachute in my back pocket, I can face the fear of what MIGHT happen, and allow the truth to be shared.
So, where are you afraid of disappointing someone to the point that it’s preventing you from living a life on your terms? Prepare your parachute, step into the conversation, and imagine both of you floating to the ground.
It’s important to use the parachute responsibly. It’s not to be used just because you don’t feel like fulfilling a promise. It’s not a free pass to avoid uncomfortable conversations. Only use it in times where your needs have to be met.
Disappointment is just a part of life, and it’s a MUST in order to live a life on your terms.
