Emotions - A Case for Time-travel
Posted on March 30, 2023 by Tiffany Ryder, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.
In seconds, emotions can transform us into an older version of ourselves - a more vulnerable, less confident edition. Awareness is our only defense.
A fraction of a second is all it took for me to completely forget years of medical training and healthy living to find myself an anxious mess, standing in front of my refrigerator in shame – belly full of fast-food and chocolate all over my face.
My 8th grader broke her nose playing basketball last night.
Elbow to the face – blood everywhere.
As a PA, bloody noses are NOT particularly interesting. Mild facial trauma is exceptionally common. So, as she bled all over herself, I played it cool, did a quick assessment, determined she was going to live and put great effort into looking calm – but inside, I was a mess. Not for any reason. No insider knowledge. Mess.
We went to urgent care, confirmed the break and as we got into the car, I announced, to my own surprise as well as hers, “We’re going to Chick-Fil-A.” Weird for our family.
My husband reminded me that we had homemade soup at home.
And that I had insisted on sharpie-ing it onto the meal plan since it checked all of the nutrition boxes.
And would go bad if we didn’t eat it TONIGHT.
And supported our fitness goals.
We ate out.
I ordered a beautiful recipe for insulin resistance topped with a selection of easter candy from an impromptu CVS stop which I arranged under the guise of ‘needing peroxide’ for the blood stains.
Self-sabotage in full effect.
What the heck happened to me?
This was a BENIGN circumstance that I routinely manage without difficulty – All. The. Time. Why was I acting so weird?
And then it hit me.
It wasn’t me… at least not ‘Now’ Me.
It was ‘20-years-ago’ Me.
When I see broken noses in the ED, I identify as a highly trained medical professional with a commitment to good nutrition and healthy practices. So, I do the medicine things, then I EAT THE SOUP because… a healthy dinner is what a medical professional with a wellness practice eats and that is WHO I AM.
Yesterday, the EXTERNAL situation was the same, but my anxiety had caused me to identify as the vulnerable, helpless person I was long ago.
I became the person that I was before I worked my butt off to get educated and get fit – which for me means eat the fast food and all the sweets then hope to feel safe.
In seconds, emotions can transform us into an older version of ourselves – a more vulnerable, less confident edition.
Despite years of practice.
And that snap-shot of a less-enlightened you thinks different thoughts, and those thoughts drive different behaviors that perpetuate a different reality that would NOT lead to you here being the amazing, awesome person that you are today.
At some point, you changed, but the old patterns still exist, and they still show up sometimes.
How many times do we experience an emotion that triggers us to return to a more tumultuous time without our knowledge or consent?
Think of situations where you may have also temporarily forgotten what a badass you are and then give yourself a high-five for becoming you.
Because we all time-travel sometimes.
