What Story Is Your Body Language Telling?

Posted on March 28, 2023 by Bryan Yates, One of Thousands of Performance Coaches on Noomii.

How you are wearing your body silently speaks volumes. Our body language simultaneously reflects and reinforces our inner conditions. Without us even being consciously aware of it, the way we carry our physical selves can express: confidence, fear, anguish, power, self defeat, timidity, mindful composure, or a chaotically disorganized stream of thought.

Watching people on a (indoor or outdoor) bike, this becomes acutely evident. (If you’re not a cyclist, please hang in here with me for a moment.) Over the years, I’ve coached thousands riders either in the spin room or out on the roads and trails. Simply by watching riders and asking them what they’re feeling and what their minds are telling them during stressful efforts, I’ve learned to identify some pretty common patterns in body language that carries over to life.

The most important thing I’ve learned is that most of y’all—me included, at times—are holding on too tightly when external conditions become uncomfortable. When the road gets hard, (imagine that annoyingly LONG climb in your Peloton class), our minds begin to tell us how painful and uncomfortable it is. That discomfort narrative repeats over and over without us even being fully aware of the message. And, if you happen to be experiencing an emotionally taxing day, FORGET IT. All those emotions become amplified messages of “This sucks. You might as well give up.”

Confessional moment. For me, those intense climbs bring up poorly concealed resentments around potentially unresolved blockages. The harder the conditions the more my mind wants to slide into patterns of judgement. The physical expression of this looks like this:

1. Shoulders pulled up to my ears.
2. Wrists and elbows locked out (if on the bike.).
3. Frowning facial muscles.
4. Shallow breathing only into the top 15% of the lungs.

This is all a very normal and predictable physical reaction to challenging circumstances. Our bodies sense discomfort and danger, which signals the nervous system to begin the fight, flight, freeze process. In other words, we get into a cycle of emotional and physical resistance, which only amplifies our pain and discomfort.

In a controlled fitness setting, it’s pretty easy to break the cycle, because we know it will end when the session ends—if not sooner. The problem is that modern life and business happen with such constant intensity y’all are becoming increasingly conditioned to exist in those elevated fight, flight, freeze states. (I can be right there with you too.)

Ironically, our inclination to struggle is a poor attempt to protect and fortify ourselves against external forces we can never control. Rather than turning ourselves into spiritual and physical fortresses, we perform better when we soften into the moment.

With a little awareness and intention, you can counteract this inclination.

1. Accept the circumstances fully with curiosity. Rather than fighting it, try asking, “What am I supposed to be learning in this moment?”
2. Remind yourself “It’s Only A Climb.” Every road will eventually flatten or smooth out.
3. Relax your death grip. Locking out your wrists, elbows, and shoulders mean you’ll feel every rough bump and pothole in your neck and jaws. In everyday life, this translates to lowering your hands, which instinctively want to grasp for safety. Keep a firm grip, but loose shoulders.
4. Breath intentionally, deeply, and fully. Use all your lungs: top to bottom, front to back, side to side. On the inhale, silently say “in.” On the exhale, silently say, “out.” On the out, try melting that resident tension.

It’s so hard to make these an active practice, but the rewards are amazing. Turning down your physical and emotional resistance paradoxically increases your power. You’ll move with more clarity, velocity, grace, and flow. (By the way, anyone who’s studied a bit of electrical engineering will see this as a loose version of Ohm’s Law.)

respect and gratitude,

Bryan

Try a free first-time 45-minute coaching session with me. Even if you think you’ll never want to hire a coach, I invite you to give it a try. I know I’ll enjoy the conversation!