6 Signs You're In a Toxic Relationship
Posted on March 01, 2023 by Christina King, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
So many of us end up in toxic relationships and situations and we don't even realize. It affects our mental health and how we think.
Chances are, you’ve heard a lot about toxic and unhealthy relationships from social media. Maybe you’ve been in one of these relationships yourself. I know I’ve had my fair share of toxic relationships. Sometimes we don’t know that we’re in a toxic union until we’ve invested a lot of time in one. However, you have the power here. You can either turn it around and make the relationship better, by working on things, or if the relationship is not salvageable at all (someone cheated, partner is a narcissist, emotional, physical, or mental abuse), then you can lovingly let the relationship go. You have the power to do so. Here are some signs of a toxic and unhealthy relationship.
1) Gaslighting happens to you on a regular basis. Maybe you confront your partner about a negative incident or situation and they deny that it ever happened. Or they falsely tell you about having certain conversations with you that never took place. Maybe you’re told, “You’re crazy, you’re imagining ____.” Gaslighting, in turn, begins to make you question your memory, intuition, self-worth, and thus your confidence and self-esteem decrease.
2) You’ve lost yourself. Perhaps you don’t have hobbies or interests or see family or friends like you used to. All of your focus is on the other person and making them happy first. Maybe you aren’t working and doing everything for your partner and not yourself. Your self-care is lacking. Your partner and their needs are the predominant focus of the relationship.
3) You feel resentful. You hate spending time with your partner. You cringe when they call you when you see their car in the driveway, and you daydream about a different life. You realize your needs, wants, and desires aren’t being met at all. This leads to an increase in anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. You can also feel physically sick—more ailments, getting sick more often, etc.
4) You feel your partner does not take any accountability for mistakes they’ve made. All the blame is on you. Anytime you try to talk or hash out issues, conflicts, and hardships, your significant other does not own up to anything that could have been their fault. No responsibility is taken. Instead, you’re blamed for everything. This is a toxic trait that unfortunately is common in narcissistic or toxic relationships.
5) Your partner is dishonest with you and/or has been unfaithful to you. Your relationship perhaps may have been through infidelity. They’re being dishonest about their whereabouts. Maybe you find some sketchy credit card bills. Or you see some weird texts on their phone. Trust your intuition on this one. If something doesn’t feel right, chances are, they aren’t. And if you do confront them about their dishonesty, and if they gaslight their way out of it, that’s a red flag.
6) Your partner demonstrates controlling and manipulative behavior. If you’re not permitted to dress or act a certain way, believe in certain things, or you’re isolated from friends, family, and other acquaintances, you can bet that you’re being manipulated. If you don’t trust yourself enough to make your own decisions and you have to run to your partner for approval, that is proof you’re being controlled. Maybe your partner also controls the financials in your relationship.
It’s okay if you’re in a toxic relationship. Forgive yourself. You can leave if it is affecting your mental and emotional well-being. Support is available. My 1:1 relationship strategy sessions will work if you need a supportive person to help you with your goals and next steps.
