Try A Life of Active Consultation
Posted on February 18, 2023 by Bryan Yates, One of Thousands of Performance Coaches on Noomii.
I endeavor to lead a life of active consultation with others, because I need to learn from their experience. I'm so incredibly fortunate to have ...
Do you have a personal Board of Directors—a group of wise counselors? What I’m talking about is a group of trusted people who will advise you truthfully, correctively, and won’t co-sign your bullshit.
This morning, I called on my personal BOD to help me with a challenging business decision. They helped me work through a costly idea, and reframe my language to point my thinking in the proper direction. (Bless y’all for that.)
I endeavor to lead a life of active consultation with others, because I need to learn from their experience. I’m so incredibly fortunate to have a close group of smart and emotionally intelligent women and men in my immediate circle, who’ll give me unfiltered, compassionate guidance.
I don’t do this from a lack of self-confidence. Put to the scrutiny of others, my ideas are made better and stronger, my emotions are made more clear. Or, they are put aside for more processing. I don’t limit this to business questions or the big stuff. Sometimes, I get my Board’s advice on how to respond to a person or situation that feels out of alignment.
To live in consultation is to live in emotional risk. It takes a leap of faith, a willingness to be wrong, and an openness to be vulnerable.
In my 30s, I never would’ve asked for help. My best decisions came from between my ears. (Of course, so did my most alcoholic decisions, so take that for what it’s worth.) I’ve got hard proof on how well that did not work. In my 40s, I let people in, but only allowing them to see what my ego needed to project, and hiding what it needed to protect. Presenting a deeply compartmentalized version of myself meant that I was getting back incomplete, and inherently self-limiting advice. In my 50s, I throw open the windows and doors to the right people and say, “the place is a mess, but come on in!” The results have been a vast improvement over past decades.
Once you stop letting people co-sign your stuff, your thinking will get better, your performance will be stronger, and you’ll live freer.
Who’s in your personal Board of Directors, and why? If you don’t have one, who would you want it yours.
purity and love,
Bryan
