Lead With Love

Posted on January 21, 2023 by Anandah Carter, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

Lead with love… In your home, with your families, with your friends, at work, and those in your life you find challenging. Am I suggesting you “love” everyone? Not necessarily!

Read on…

It is easy to be selective with our love and affection, reserving it for only individuals we have known for a long time or for someone we hope to meet in the future. Studies indicate that it takes only 7 seconds for us to assess a person and decide if they are worth our time and energy.

These 7 seconds diminish the value of a person to a moment.

I recently heard this story that really struck me:

“I once met a man who had a practice of looking for the unique qualities in everyone he met. He shared a story about a taxi driver, who at first glance appeared to be ordinary and seemed somewhat cranky. This is his job. Why is he SO cranky. But through conversation, he discovered that the driver was a hero in Syria who had saved people from burning buildings and was now in America to earn money to send back to his suffering relatives. As I kindly engaged with him, he softened and opened. I had a choice, to react to crankiness, thereby putting up a wall between us, or I could soften, and let someone in.”

We never truly know who a person is (even if we think we do), or what they are going through. Coming across someone you don’t know, or even one you do know – your friend, partner, children, step-children, etc. – their crankiness, frustration, dismissiveness, sadness, is actually… a call to be loved.

Softening and opening with that person is the answer.

How to Lead with Love:

No One is Perfect
I invite you and kinda dare you, for the next 2 weeks, to try to meet someone in you life with a smile when they seem cranky, etc. Sometimes our first reaction is judgement and criticism. Trust me, it takes effort to calm the voices of reaction, but IT IS worth it to set the ego aside.

Be the first to say hello, be the first to ask them how their day was. If you don’t want to do it face to face, send them a text!

You be the leader with love instead of expecting someone else to be.

This is especially true with children. My son just entered the teenage years, and if there is one thing that I have learned from other professionals so far is this – it’s a teenagers job to be cranky with you. It’s the beginning of their individuation from you and pushing you away is how they do it. Don’t take it personally. Stay calm and non-reactive. Making your presence known is the most important thing you can do by letting them know you are there if you need them. Don’t assume they know that. It’s about you being present for all of the small (mundane) daily moments and showing up for those. Putting our phones down, and being present is an incredible gift and an important investment for you both. Set aside what you want, and show up in ways they might ask you to. If there’s someone in your life you want to be closer to, reach out them consistently for 2 weeks and see what happens!

You, me, we have the power to build our own bridge to someone else.

Next time you’re tempted to react with anger, judgement, or criticism, take a little longer look for the gold in that person. What do you like about them? Dig deep and ask yourself what there is about you that could be is similar.

All humans, even children, are our mirrors to further deepen our own growth.

AND.. If you are judging and criticizing yourself, take a look for the gold in you!!

AND.. If you are judging and criticizing yourself, take a look for the gold in you!!Loving behavior creates more love – always.