How to be Happy Alone in the Digital Age

Posted on December 03, 2022 by Karthika Bala, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Since the boom of the Internet and the ever-changing digital age, loneliness has become a growing epidemic. Time Magazine points to social media and smartphones as the culprits and ones to blame for this insidious disease infecting all of us at such an alarming rate. And with people having more “online friends” than real connections (ones consisting of in-person conversations, hugs, and laughter), it’s no wonder that anxiety and depression are plaguing our world.

But can we feel less lonely living in a time saturated by digital screens and zoom calls? Yes, I believe we can. We can do this by changing our mindset, cultivating an inner sanctuary, and deepening into our souls.

Here is a 9-step guide on how to be happy alone:

1. Spend Time Alone Mindfully
Being on your own might be a new concept for you. Take the time and really sit with yourself without any other distractions. Close your laptop, shut off your phone and find a quiet place to be alone with your own company. And make sure you do this mindfully, meaning you are completely present in the moment and to anything that may emerge from inside you. Simply observe the experience. Are you uncomfortable being alone? Is it painful? Use this opportunity to journal your thoughts and feelings. The more you practice sitting alone and pushing through any pain, the easier it’ll get. The goal is for your inner world to feel like a sanctuary.

2. Understand Your Personality
Do you know how you like to spend your time, without any outside influences? Often, we fill our days with many distractors and activities that don’t allow for the opportunity to explore what makes us happy when we are alone. Get to know who you are as a personality free from anyone else. Treat yourself to regular dates out alone and be mindful of how you’re feeling and what comes up. What are your thoughts like when you are alone? Is there any judgment? What do you like to do, where do you like to go? Use the time to discover yourself more deeply and begin to cultivate a loving relationship with yourself the same way you would with anyone else.

3. Change Your Mindset
Social media, society, and traditional customs have all impacted and conditioned our perception of what it means to be alone. The story that someone is depressed and lonely when they are alone is simply not true. Being alone and lonely are not one and the same. This mindset is deeply rooted in all our thoughts and it’s important to be mindful of this when you are alone. When you begin to understand your personality and are mindful of your thought patterns, you can start to hear the judgemental voice in your mind when you find yourself alone. Those thoughts are not who you are. You are more. We all need to change that false narrative of what it means to be alone. Begin to understand that you can be your own company and when you live through that mindset, you will discover that you are never alone.

4. Understand Your Soul
Build a relationship with the truest part of who you are – your soul. This is your purest self, and it is without form. It is separate from your upbringing and your personality. It holds all your best attributes and is filled with the loving wisdom that wants the best for you. To unlock its power, you need to uncover what is buried behind any past wounds and trauma. You can start by committing to a meditation practice which will develop your awareness and mindfulness. Welcome in the silence through mediation and you will slowly begin to distinguish between the personality having thoughts and the soul observing them.

5. Learn a New Skill
Now that you have all this free time why not revisit an old hobby or gain a new skill? Our time here on earth is so limited and we should be mindful of how we spend our days. Nothing should be taken for granted. Seize each moment and truly embrace your life because we don’t know what’s in store. If we allow outside influences or an outdated mindset to dictate how we spend our time we may miss out on important opportunities, relationships, and adventures. Remember you are your own company so tackle your bucket list and enjoy the company of your soul.

6. Discover Companionship in Nature
Once you start deepening into your spiritual practice and understand the benefits of mindfulness and being present, you may begin to hear the whispers of the universe. This is a glorious gift, filled with so many gems and surprises. And these magical sounds and music is amplified in nature which is a wonderful opportunity to practice being alone mindfully with a walk in a park, hike in the woods or stroll on a beach. Listen deeply and meditate on the sounds of the wild. This phenomenon will free you to understand that we are all interconnected. You will feel the presence and community of the trees. You will understand you are never alone.

7. Practice Detachment or Non-Attachment
Not to be confused with indifference or dissociation, Buddhist detachment or non-attachment has been my personal saving grace. It’s knowing and understanding that the present moment is the only reality there is to experience. It’s releasing all attachment to thoughts, material possessions, past events, and future outcomes. It’s also releasing any attachment we have to another soul and understanding, deeply, each soul is on its own unique journey, separate from our own. Focus on your soul’s path and deepen into the present moment. This will free you from anxiety, stress, and worry. Release and surrender into a life with more peace and freedom.

8. Foster Unconditional Self-Love
Make yourself the priority in your life and many aspects of your life will begin to align in the right way. This will also help you combat any criticism you may hear regarding your ability to be happy alone. People will put on their own fears and discomforts onto things they don’t understand. And perhaps it’s something they deep down want to obtain. When you begin to cultivate a loving relationship with yourself you will also start to be more mindful and selective with how you spend your time. Understanding that your own company is the healthier choice over the company of someone toxic is the best act of self-love. And the ultimate gift you can ever do is to understand that you can give that love to yourself. Don’t wait for anyone else to start living your life. Choose you, always.

Modern society has indeed skewed our perception of authentic connection and community at a global scale, but we are not doomed. Love can still be found even during the digital age we just need to look within. Deepen into your soul and welcome in the gift only your true Self can provide. It’s in this state when a profound change in your mindset will occur and you will begin to feel happy alone. But it’s more than just being happy; you will feel at peace when alone.