Do You Know When to Say No?
Posted on November 18, 2022 by Sean Hayes, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Responsibility is part of life. At the same time, do you find yourself stressed, rushed, and taking care of everyone else’s needs before your own?
Do you feel the need to say yes when everyone wants and needs you? Are you overwhelmed and chronically stressed with no time to attend to your own needs? Is your health and happiness suffering as a result?
If you are like many of my clients, you immediately react when your boss, colleagues, and employees need you to solve a crisis. Like a good soldier, you willingly and routinely take on extra shifts and log 50 or more hour weeks.
At home, you do all the chores, make the meals, clean the house, help your friends, volunteer at the church, and take care of your elderly relatives. What choices do you make every day that contribute to your stress and lack of time?
When was the last time you said, “no?" Consider you are “training” the people in your life to depend on you. Unfortunately, as a result of your hard work, the people closest to you will inevitably disrespect your time and expect you to continue your generous services. Equally a concern is that they may never develop these valuable life skills on their own.
I invite you to begin “retraining” the people in your life, so that they no longer rely on you for anything and everything. Remember you trained them, so it will take time to retrain. The retraining process will sting, so be prepared. However, your time will be more respected in the long run. Start by setting limits and by saying “no.” Encourage the people around you to solve their own challenges. Most importantly, start saying “yes” to yourself and enjoy more time, less stress, and improved health.
My client Emily a project manager, did exactly that. She stopped answering emails right away and witnessed her team solve their own challenges. She started saying “no” to projects outside of her job description and logged off at 5:00 PM instead of 9:00 PM. She found the time to exercise and meal plan with a result of losing 20 lbs. She also stopped taking anxiety medication and won an award for leadership. All of this was a result of saying “no,” doing less, and empowering those around her to do for themselves.
What is your relationship to setting limits and saying no? Do you want to dig deeper and find more time for health and happiness? Please leave a comment below and share how setting limits and saying “no” has transformed your life.
