The Approach (How To Get Everything You Need & Want)
Posted on October 27, 2022 by Catherine Barron, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Everything you want or need in a marriage or relationship depends on how you ask for it. It all rests in your approach. It's simply done with love!
The Approach: A Fundamental Skill That Keeps the Peace & Gets You What You Need
Talking to couples and hearing that they can’t get through to their spouse or partner for what they need or what needs to be done, I have learned that it basically boils down to a consistent and practiced way of talking to each other.
It’s called, “The Approach”. The Approach is your fall-back cushion to getting your needs and your spouse/partner’s needs met in a calm and loving way.
Here’s how it’s done:
1-Couples have the tendency to lash out and grind their partner when things are not done and they are not happy with repeated requests to chores or tasks that need addressing. The anger, and frustration has built up and your patience has dwindled.
Suppose taking out the trash is “his job” but it never seems to be done. In fact, you are the one taking out the trash consistently, plus a list of other chores daily.
You’ve asked and reminded him to do his share. You are at the end of your rope. Take a deep breath and calmly reach out to him/her. Lower and soften the tone of your voice, and say, (term of endearment or nickname), place your hand on his shoulder or touch his/her hand and say…
“Would you do me a favor my love? He/she says, “Of course”.
“Could you please take out the trash for me”?
He/she says, “Sure”.
You say, “Thank you, darling, I really appreciate it. I appreciate everything you contribute to our household.”
End of story. It works overtime, I assure you.
Use your own words, use words of affection that have meaning to the both of you when talking to each other or requesting something. Keep your voice calm and direct but yet loving in kindness towards your partner or spouse. You will have better luck in getting what you want.
Using The Approach will change the dynamics of the relationship, the household, and the way you both live your life inside the home and outside the home. It will overflow into your daily life and how you talk to other people who are important to you, for instance, while on the job, in a meeting, at the school for your children and personal places you frequent including social.
This is the place you want to be in…having peace of mind in all your actions cannot be bought. It may not turn out exactly the way you expect every time, because it depends on the people you are directing your approach towards and how they choose to receive it.
If they do not respond with favor, you still approached them in a correct manner. Do not be discouraged but rather keep being calm, kind, and loving towards others and to the most important people in your life.
~Catherine Barron
