HOW CAN I LOVE MYSELF MORE INTIMATELY?

Posted on October 21, 2022 by Nelly Resian, One of Thousands of Spirituality Coaches on Noomii.

The reason why we desire romantic relationships is because there are various things we want our partner to fulfill for us and with us. When these needs are met by our partners, we conclude that the relationship is good and vice versa. The thing is, when we continue to look externally for these needs to be met, it puts us perpetually in a place of lack, and when they are met, it is only temporary. Or you might realize you efforted or used some underhanded way to try and get that need met. Because our partners are reflections of who we are on the inside, it would make more sense to shift intrinsically, so that your physical reality can transform, to match the new changes, filling in the details in ways your conscious mind couldn’t have perceived.

To do this, you need to pull back your energy from your current and future partner, and shift your focus solely on yourself. I know this might not make sense because you’re thinking, if it’s a relationship between you and another person, then the other person should definitely be involved. And that is true and also not true. But stay with me, and anyway, you’ve been doing it the other way which isn’t working out, so why not try a different approach, huh?

The idea here is to fulfill those things for yourself, to saturate yourself in the vibration of those needs already being met, then your current relationship and the people you attract will only be a match to the new you, naturally extrinsically meeting those needs as well. When you genuinely love yourself, then your partner will genuinely love you. So what I have here is a series of questions. When you pose these questions to yourself, answers will come to you in the form of ideas. Then put these ideas into practice. Some of these might be things you can do mentally, physically or both depending on the subject matter. Do these things for you, the way you would do them for someone else. What I mean is, look at yourself as a different self, then practice those things towards this different version of you.

You can start with the ones where answers have already revealed themselves, and work your way slowly to the difficult ones. When you carry out this exercise, you are also going to find out areas in which you are carrying trauma (seek the help of a professional, I guide my clients to heal their childhood trauma) or areas you are resistant about because with every single question, you can definitely do something to answer and meet those needs. Don’t bundle them together, thinking that they are similar because each question is meant to activate a different frequency; some big others subtle. Answer each question as a stand alone. If you don’t know what it means, be curious and find out. This exercise is meant to help you know yourself better, heal and bring you to a higher state of vibration. This is obviously not an exhaustive list, but it’ll do well as a guide. Fell free to add more questions to your personal practice.

Do this everyday, every chance you get. You are always with your mind, and that is where it all starts and ends, with your consciousness. This is a more intimate practice of self love. And hey, if you’re already in a good relationship, this will make it even better. In case your partner is open to it, you can do this exercise together, maybe share your journey, realizations, epiphanies and what worked for you in your practice with each other. That will definitely help your relationship become more intimate. But remember, even if you’re doing this with someone else (even your personal development group), this is ultimately inner work.

Here we go:
-In what ways can I cherish myself ?
-In what ways can I adore myself ?
-In what ways can I accept myself more?
-In what ways can I treat myself with warmth?
-In what ways can I choose myself more?
-In what ways can I be more gentle with myself?
-In what ways can I perceive myself with admiration and respect?
-How can I spend more time with myself?
-In what ways can I take better care of myself?
-In what ways can I be kind to myself?
-In what ways can I meet & honor my desires for my highest good?
-In what ways can I share my feelings with myself?
-In what ways can I be more thoughtful towards myself?
-In what ways can I be more accommodating to myself?
-In what ways can I spoil myself?
-In what ways can I shower myself with gifts?
-In what ways can I appreciate myself?
-How do I validate myself more?
-In what ways can I show myself support?
-In what ways can I rely on myself more?
-In what ways can I be my own companion?
-In what ways can I love myself more intimately?
-In what ways can I love myself without conditions, expectations or ulterior motives?

HAPPY LOVING!