How to overcome limiting beliefs

Posted on August 02, 2022 by Deborah Lounsberry, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

The biggest obstacle people face when pursuing a goal is their belief that they can’t obtain it.
What’s remarkable about this, is that although we hear this, we read it, we know it – we still fall victim to this belief.
It’s funny how we can know we’re standing in our own way, but still not quite get past it.
The buzzword for this is limiting beliefs. I’m sure you’ve heard it a lot. I’m sure we have all fallen victim to this a lot.
The thing with limiting beliefs is that they keep us smaller than we are. They keep us from having the life we want, and the lifestyle we want.
Can you recall a dream or goal you wanted to achieve, but kept falling short? Or not pursued it at all?
If so, why? What kept you back? Was it because you really didn’t think you could do it?
It’s also possible that deep, deep down, you might have believed you didn’t deserve it.
I’ve been doing a lot of research lately on limiting beliefs, why we have them, where they come from, and how to push past them. It’s also been a topic of discussion lately in some of the groups I’m in.
So, what are limiting beliefs?
They are usually beliefs that were formed subconsciously, often taking root when you’re young. This is why they’re so strong – they’ve been there a while! They are always negative in nature, too.
Maybe it was something an adult said to you when you were a child, along the lines of ‘you can’t do that!’, ‘you’re bad if you think that!’, ‘what makes you think you’re so special?’ Things that are said in the moment, and innocently enough, but something that took root in your mind.
Sometimes people say things to you out of anger, or because they are also functioning with limiting beliefs themselves; and those limiting beliefs get passed on.
This is extremely, and unfortunately common within families. Parents are usually not intentionally limiting their children. In fact, most parents want the world for their kids. But their own limiting beliefs can unwittingly be taught to their children. And on it goes.
Think about something you want for your life; a goal you would like to achieve but you’re not doing anything about it. Seriously, identify one before reading further!
Got it?
Now this question: Why aren’t you doing anything to achieve it? What’s stopping you?
Is it the belief that this particular goal isn’t for someone like you? That’s a limiting belief.
Is it the belief that you never follow through with your plans, so why start? That’s a limiting belief.
It is the belief that you don’t have the resources, money, time, etc. to make it happen? That’s a limiting belief.
Now, before you yell at me and tell me that, no, you really don’t have the money/time/resources etc., I’m willing to bet that in the past, you’ve found the money/time/resources for other things you wanted – things you believed you could do.
The point I’m trying to make here is that this lack of whatever, is another limiting belief. And worse, it unknowingly gets used as an excuse to support that limiting belief.
This is how limiting beliefs control us.
So how can we identify a limiting belief? How can we tell that this is what’s stopping us from doing more, being more, or achieving something we would really like?
Quite simply, if it’s something you truly want and there is no real reason you can’t have it, but you’re not going after it, or you’re falling short of achieving it, there is a limiting belief stopping you.
An overly simple explanation, but basically that’s how you can tell.
If there is something that you really want, a goal that you really wish you could achieve, truly examine your thoughts around why you think you can’t achieve it. What are the beliefs behind the limitations?
Identify them and look at what’s behind them.
Where did those negative thoughts come from?
Ask yourself if they are really true. And if they were true at one time, are they still true?
Are those beliefs really yours, or did you ‘adopt’ them from someone else? We often adopt beliefs from our parents, teachers, and bosses. Actually, anyone we hold in high regard, or look up to. We adopt their limiting beliefs, and any limiting beliefs they hold about us.
Once we know where these beliefs came from, what they were born from, we can address the truth about them and strip them of their power so they no longer have any control over our thoughts, or at a much lesser degree until we can eliminate them completely.
Is this easy? No, not always. Those beliefs have been with us for a long time, and are deeply rooted. But it is possible.
The best way to loosen their power is to do, in spite of. In other words, prove them wrong. Go after what you want, and ignore those beliefs that say you can’t.
Keep pushing through. Identify what’s tripping you up, and examine it. Remember that these are limiting beliefs, they are false beliefs. They are not true. You’ll have to keep reminding yourself of this every time you start to believe this goal is not for you.
This is a time when it’s especially helpful to have someone to talk to. It will help to talk through what you’re feeling, and what you’re struggling with. Someone who will see things from another perspective, as we tend to get stuck in our thoughts and develop blinders. Someone you can brainstorm with and will help you come up with other solutions. Most importantly, someone who can remind you that you’re letting your limiting beliefs have control.
Find an accountability group to be part of, or ask a trusted friend. Or hire a coach (yes, I’d love to help!) Just don’t do it alone, otherwise your limiting beliefs will be shooting you down, and having you believe in them once again.