How to Let Go of Guilt

Posted on July 05, 2022 by Kate Chartrand, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Guilt is so real – for most of us – and it can lead to chronic stress, worry, and sadness.

For some reason, it’s really easy for us to find things to feel guilty about, even when we didn’t do anything wrong. And these guilty feelings can easily trigger feelings of stress and overwhelm.

I like to think of Guilt as a member of your “team” of feelings that you manage – I like to call her Gabby Guilt.

You might notice that Gabby LOVES to be the center of attention and create a lot of excitement by gabbing :) about all the things you should have done, or should be doing, reminding you of when you’ve fallen short, and comparing you with other moms who seem to have it all figured out.

Sometimes it’s easy to let her take control of your team, but remember – YOU are the one in charge, and you have the power to take charge of HER. What if you can learn to accept Gabby, and understand what her purpose is on your team?

Gabby has two purposes – (1) she’s there to remind you that you care deeply about yourself and others, and (2) she’s trying to tell you that you might want to consider making changes (either in your thoughts or actions), apologize to whoever was involved if needed, and invite Grace in (a key member of your team!!).

Now, don’t ever let Gabby stick around too long, or she’ll invite Shame in. Instead of focusing on the behavior that brought on the guilt, Shame attacks who you are as a person, your self-esteem. NEVER let Shame stay! Use affirmations to keep Shame away – You are an incredible person, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!

To let Gabby go, we’re going to use my unique SALLY Steps (named after another key member of your team – “Sally” Stress):

STOP when you notice Gabby – feelings of Guilt or even Shame. Notice what happened that invited her in.

ACCEPT Gabby Guilt as normal and natural. Accept that she’s a part of most people’s lives.

LET HER HELP. Gabby’s trying to tell you that (1) the guilt you feel is a sign that you are a caring person, and (2) you can use that guilt as a learning experience – decide what you will do now, or what you will do or how you will think differently next time (i.e., plan a special date to make up for what you missed/forgot/did). You can apologize if needed, and invite Grace in.

LET HER GO. Use one of your go-to coping tools to say goodbye to Gabby. Let Grace in by telling yourself – YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN. Pray for forgiveness or peace. Repeat an affirmation or mantra. Connect with your support network. Write in your journal.

“YOU” time. Having these feelings could be a sign that you’re not spending enough time taking care of your own needs. Schedule in time for yourself, so you can recharge and have enough energy to be there for those who are most important to you.

Because you took the time to read this, I can confidently say – you are an AMAZING, INCREDIBLE person! Trust me, you are doing better than you think you are.

If you’re interested in working with me so you can beat burnout and thrive in your life, please message me. I’m here for you and will give you the support and tools you need!