How do I create space for growth in my life?

Posted on July 05, 2022 by Harry Goldberg, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.

“I don’t have capacity for growth right now”

It’s common for almost all of us to feel something like “I have way too much to do and far too little time to do it!”.

This often flows on to thinking: “I just don’t have capacity to focus on me”.

I get it. I’m a dedicated husband, a very involved father, director of a rapidly growing purpose-driven business, a podcast host & I also take my physical health seriously.

But to do all these things well requires balance – not easy to achieve. In fact, too often my sense of balance goes out the window and I end up in brief periods of being:

- sick,
- in a lower energy state,
- injured (often from BJJ),
- less present for my wife,
- less of an excited father, or
- less available to create massive impact in my clients’ lives.

This happens. You are not alone!

Finding Balance

To find and maintain balance we need to keep two things working beautifully for us:

1. A clear picture of what we want
2. An achievable path to get there

To live the life we love, we need to live a life committed to facing greater challenges. We must rise to the occasion and to do this we must constantly grow and improve the way we live.

Said another way, how do we stay focussed, but not miss the game-changing opportunities which would supercharge our progress?

There are 4 Disciplines to Keep Growing:

1. Keep exploring new ways of living your life

“When you stop growing you start dying.” – William S. Burroughs

What are you currently doing to improve your lifestyle right now?

Here are some options:

- Read books on the areas in your life you need to improve on
- (Actively) listen to audio programs that challenge your thinking
- Attend a personal development seminars and speak with the most inspiring person in the room
- Connect with a mentor or coach who lives in a way that inspires you, and ask them about their life

“In this world you’re either growing or you’re dying, so get in motion and grow.” – Lou Holtz

It’s no secret that the most successful people (by wealth & impact) allocate a huge amount of time to personal development and growth-oriented activities – especially in reading, seminars and results-focused coaching.

2. Keep exploring new ways of thinking

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein

As a professional coach focusing on time-poor professionals who want to live a more balanced and enjoyable life, one of the most saddening patterns I see is people getting stuck in their way of thinking. We tend to get stuck with two types of cognitive biases:

- Recency Bias (favouring recent events over historic ones)
- Confirmation Bias (see/seeking/finding information that supports our existing beliefs)

(Note: There are many other types of cognitive biases but these are the two I see most commonly stopping us from expanding our ways of thinking)

If we wish to grow with the additional responsibility we take on (direct reports, projects, mortgage, spouse, children, further education, health goals…) then we must find ways to think through challenges & situations as if we’ve never seen them before and as if we are a fascinated anthropologist in an exciting new world.

Hot tip: Anytime you think you have the answer, instead of jumping to the conclusion, ask yourself some of the following:

- “What if that belief is wrong?”
- “What might I be unable to see right now?”
- “If I were >>insert name of someone you highly respect<< then what would I say?”
- “That’s an awesome possibility! What else?”
- “What resources do I have at my disposal to learn more about this?”

3. Action:

Create a game plan

Let’s assume we’ve found ways to expand and grow and we’ve challenged our perspectives. Let’s also assume that we know where we want to go.

Congratulations!

We now have a more truthful, better thought through and higher success-rate mindset.

Now when you create your strategy (a series of next steps), you will be more likely to achieve the results you are after.

All that’s left for this step is to make taking action highly enticing!

The easiest way to do this is to add some more emotional pull: “How much better will my life be as a result of succeeding with this strategy? What will this mean for [____] if I am successful?”

4. Consistency:

Be held accountable

I have personally been to many seminars & personal development courses where every participant goes in to learn and grow. And I have also seen that the majority of participants I have remained in touch with don’t achieve the results they have gotten excited about achieving. At some point, the energy & momentum from the seminar/course whittled away into nothing but a distant memory.

No wonder they don’t get the results!

It may have been an exceptional plan, well thought through and was sure to provide exceptional growth. But nothing came of it because the best plans are useless if not executed properly.

So what’s the final step?

You need to find ways to remain accountable to the actions you need to take. You can do this with any combination of the following:

- Find a mentor who is conflict-free in wanting to see your success
- Get your spouse involved (they know when to push you and they are the least likely you want to let down)
- Journal/visualise/imagine your future by taking action
- Get 1:1 accountability from a coach (who is a professional that can keep you on your toes with all of these steps)

Summary

Your life & your experience is limited by your perspectives

If you want to grow, you need to really want the outcomes

Resources are abundant, you just need to find what will work for you best (and be honest with yourself about it)

Don’t be afraid of accepting support – there’s no such thing as a “self-made (wo)man”

Maybe, just maybe, you can stop for a moment to take on the wheel in the header image of this article and make your life more balanced, successful, fulfilled and…enjoyable!

If you need more support, I’m here to help.