How to Kick People Pleasing to the Curb
Posted on June 23, 2022 by Lois Lavrisa , One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
According to Psychology Today, here are 10 signs that you may be trying too hard to please everyone
Hello, I’m Lois, a People Pleaser.
I have an extremely hard time saying No.
Often, I’ll overcommit and then constantly run around doing everything for everyone. The result? I burn myself out.
I’ll put other people’s needs above my own.
Being conditioned to feel bad for taking up space, and always prioritizing being “nice” to others, even if it means not being nice to myself.
I’ll make decisions that don’t benefit myself or the business simply because I want people to like me.
According to Psychology Today, here are 10 signs that you may be trying too hard to please everyone:
1. You pretend to agree with everyone.
2. You feel responsible for how other people feel.
3. You apologize often.
4. You feel burdened by the things you have to do.
5. You can’t say no.
6. You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry at you.
7. You act like the people around you.
8. You need praise to feel good.
9. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.
10. You don’t admit when your feelings are hurt.
How to start to Break Free From People-Pleasing:
- Saying no to something small.
- Express your opinion about something simple.
- Take a stand for something you believe in.
Here’s an example of how People Pleasing has created negative consequences in my coaching business:
Changing things about my content, programs, emails, website, coaching, social media…. because of ONE piece of critical feedback instead of looking at the big picture.
Negative outcome: I ended up putting in a whole lot of effort (time, money energy..) fixing things that really didn’t need fixing. And in the end, the changes did not produce any positive results or make any difference.
Lois, have you encountered similar situations?
If so, remember this: In the moment, it’s feels good to not deal with uncomfortable conversations in order to make other people feel safe, happy and comfortable.
But typically a few days, weeks, months, years later, something far worse will happen as a result of you not addressing something uncomfortable or unaligned the moment you felt it.
The more you prioritize others, the less you prioritize yourself.
Nothing is more valuable than your sense of Peace.
Protect it at all costs, even if it means disappointing others, because disappointing yourself is far worse.
Do I hear a “Heck yes!” ?!
Lois
PS: If you’re a new woman coach and need help breaking free from people pleasing, hop on a free call with me.
