Stressed out? - How the Boiling Frog Theory Affects US!

Posted on June 20, 2022 by Reggie Ramlochan, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

“I cannot teach anybody, anything, I can only make them think. Socrates”

You don’t need to say it, I know how you feel, lost, helpless, unhappy and even at times depressed.

Or,

Probably you just find yourself going through the motions of the day with no feeling of fulfilment.
I can tell you there are those amongst us who have held a smile on their face as broad as can be, while the pieces of their soul crumble into dust.

What’s worse is not the way you feel, but the fact that you don’t know how to get out of this rubble.
How do I get away from this? What do I do? What else should I try?

I’m sure you may have had a few bursts of energy at times where you tried to do something that helps you break through that glass box that acts metaphorically as your psychological prison.
Trying to move forward without a plan or a direction in mind can feel like you are struggling to keep your head above water.

Yup!!

Those days are the worse ones and if you get them consistently a few days in a row it can turn into a quite an unpleasant norm.

The work cycle – A double edged sword!

Every day is a new day. A new start, a new perspective or a new opportunity, it all depends on how you internalize the events of your life.

Despite the proverbial tone used to narrate that last sentence, we know all too well that reality runs on a continuous accord without anyone’s consent.

Hence the reason we must know where we are, where we left off and where we need to pick up from the next day. This is the premise of making a plan and managing tasks.
Agreed?

A cycle like this can drain you in all aspects of your life whether it be, physically, mentally, emotionally or even spiritually.

On the flipside a cycle like this can either uplift you or propel you forward with maximum drive and enthusiasm on a daily basis.

What is the deciding factor in those two frames? I’ll sum it up for you in one word “purpose.”

When you are living your purpose the energy naturally flows towards those inclinations.

When you are not living or acting out your purpose, any activity, task or job can be indeed harder, why, because you have to summon the energy, it does not flow freely.

We become overwhelmed, sometimes simply by our efforts to be productive which is our nature and that is driven by our will to get things done.

If you are full time in the world of work you know that everyday, it’s a prescribed set of deliverables you are constantly assessing and trying to satisfy, such as;
1.Planning – What do I schedule for today, tomorrow and maybe the next day?
2.Sequence – what goes first and after that and then after that?
3.Priorities – What do I rank as important and/or urgent?
4.Time Management – What time is allotted for this task and so on?
5.Deadlines – When are these due?

So many other demands are placed on us daily, in the form of tasks, support requests or a meeting that should have been an email, which should have been a phone call.

Yeah I get those too!

How do you cope with all that coordinated confusion and turmoil day in and day out?
It sounds dreadful doesn’t it?

Well I have got news for you, and believe me, you would be a bit shocked or “taken aback” to say the least.

But why is knowing about stress management at work so important? Isn’t work supposed to be …..well….work?

Read on to find out how this manifests itself deeper into your life.

What 76% of Employees want you to know?

If what I have written thus far has your attention and agreement then I’ll like for you to continue on, because what I am about to say next may further grasp your interest.

In a recent article published by Forbes on stress in the workplace a whopping 76% of respondents said workplace stress has “had a negative impact on their personal relationships”

You read that right 76% of respondents said it affected their personal relationships, which means that their workplace stress has infiltrated their personal space.

In other words, their sanctuary and place of peace have been compromised.

How does that happen?

That’s a really good question Elmo

Well I have one theory, and it would be wise for you to reflect and determine yours’ or in other words find the source of your stress point(s).

The reason I believe we are caught so easily in this hamster wheel and in this predicament is because of a theory called The Boiling Frog Syndrome or The Boiling Frog Theory.

The Boiling Frog Theory???

What the frog…the boil the what??? What the hell is that?

Well it is a figure of speech if you will, where they claimed if you placed a frog into a pot of water on a stove and gradually increased the temperature of the water, the frog would not be able to ascertain the small changes in temperature and compensate by raising its own body temperature.

The frog by performing this balancing technique would ultimately die because of its inability to reason the fatal changes and thus, not make a decision to jump out of the pot to save its own life.
The lesson behind that is, we as humans can be a victim to the same premise, such that our growing demands and stress levels increase so gradually that they become our new operating limit unknowingly to us.

In fact we rarely pick up on the subtle changes and therefore, only when the effects are strong we notice and then say hey what’s happening to me?

For example let’s say you have 5 tasks to finish in one day, this is your normal workload, no worries right?

Then they add 1 more task, now it isn’t difficult but it stretches you little, and this slowly becomes your new work load, so you do this for a while and then what happens?

That’s right! you become acclimatized to this pace and required effort. Now imagine they add another task and now you have 7 to complete daily, and this really stretches you, plus you have so many other things that can make this hell.

Such as processes are not efficient, sign off signatures are prolonged or simply people get to it when they get to it.

See how easy you can become stressed by gradually upping the ante.

The thing is we would actually challenge ourselves and chalk it up to “I can do this” or “I need this job” but with those justifications what are we unjustifiably doing to ourselves in the process?
Industries are moving towards lean manufacturing and in the headcount business “doing more with less” – resulting in merged roles, revisiting/redefining roles and responsibilities and so forth.
Technology has also spurred this on as well, robotics, software, smart ways of working make us hold on to employment under these conditions.

So how can I guard against this form of discomfort?

What can I do to ensure I stay clear of this pressure point?

More importantly how do we ensure we are not in that 76%?

There are a few causes that can land you in that percentage, and I firmly believe these are some of the reasons that comprised that 76%, and they are, but not limited too;

You don’t know how to say NO – Learning and understanding what you can and cannot handle is essential to your mental health. Other people may be taking on more, doing more, and looks like they are achieving more, but at what cost? What are they paying that you are not seeing? That is why you must be confident and aware enough to know when to say NO.

No clear boundaries – You set no distinction for when work ends and personal life begins. You have to be able to separate work life from your personal life and that can be inclusive of people, places and actual activities. That means when you leave work no checking emails, calling the office, following up on work related stuff….STOP doing it!!! Why? Because if you take no off time to reset, recharge and reboot, you will be spiralling into an abyss of uncontrolled emotional disorder and dissatisfaction. That’s not good!

Passion – You are not passionate about your job, meaning, you may be doing what you are doing simply to earn a salary. I am not judging you! We all have to live and to live in this world costs money and you have to earn, so I fully understand. But not loving or even remotely liking what you do can make your job more difficult, mainly because the execution of your function breeds unhappiness to you personally.

Work/Life Cycle Misalignment – Ever worked in a role where you have a regular dayshift maybe an 8am to 4pm, Monday to Friday, but your responsibilities are for an operation that runs 24/7, 365 days a year? If you have then you know what I am talking about, there are many gaps in time that you are not present but you are still responsible for. Tell me that is not a nightmare, however, people still hold those roles and those types of jobs with little to no off time and that speaks volumes to your balance, it can almost feel as if you are trapped in a loop.

Toxic Work Environment – I think you may have heard this a few times before, hopefully you are not living it. But a toxic work environment can lay anyone to waste. I mean you could be the most positive person in the world with the best work ethic. Continuous exposure and functioning in this type of environment will break you down one way or the other. You simply cannot operate in a toxic environment and be happy unless the toxicity is your modus operandi. In which case you have more to worry about than the environment.

No Sanctuary – This simply means that you have not developed any strategy or action that can help you detox or establish some “me time” which is necessary to help you purge the negative effects of a stressful situation. What does that mean? It means you have no outlet to call on that can reduce your anxiety, depression or general feelings of unhappiness. That now makes you run into a wall daily, because all you think and work in is a dysfunctional state. That accumulates overtime and takes away your ability to smile and be healthy. For most people their sanctuary or place of peace is their home, some a site like a park or the sea, whatever is yours go there and do it regularly. If you don’t have one please try to create or find one.

If these happen to you I would like to offer some – Solutions

Now bear in mind these are not mandates but suggestions for you, but hopefully it would make you question and even act on your current state to make a powerful stride in the right direction.

Your health is your wealth and as corny as that sounds or as cliché as it is, this is 100% true.

So in order to preserve the gem that is the person reading this Blogpost, I have a few possible solutions that may seem drastic but may be necessary.

Leave your job – Yes! Leave the job and find another, maybe it may be for less money or a longer commute or a lower position but if it gives you peace then you have to know. You are ambitious, intelligent and hardworking and you will rise to the occasion. This point could also mean leave the department or leave the role and venture into other departments within the company. I know you have bills to pay and I know you need the cash but you can always earn so look, believe and seek the opportunities for a better life, it is possible.

Find your passion – Maybe what you are doing is not your ideal job, the one you daydreamed about but you owe it to yourself to find out what gives your life meaning. So try different things and go in areas you never were intrigued by, maybe your ideal job is in there, but pursue what gives your life meaning and stress will think twice about trying to get at you. You may have to work this simultaneously with your current role or you may leave it all together and go searching whatever is you choice, commit to it, work hard towards it and expect good things to happen to you and it will.

Become an Entrepreneur – Yes you heard it right be your own boss, I know it may be a frightening thought and experience to you, but this is an option and you can start it as a part time basis. When the time is right and your business is making the “cheddar” you desire then you may move full time into your empire. Now one thing to be clear about is your exit strategy and define it clearly. What I mean is knowing the point where you will cut over from employee to business owner. Most people have a trigger for example; when the business is consistently making $10,000 a month etc. Or others may save up and use a yearly total to exit their job and take up their business.

Take vacation/sabbatical – This could be used providing that you maybe just need a break, so maybe a vacation or a sabbatical of some kind may serve you best. Time away could be what you need to face a new day or just gather your thoughts or reorient your priorities. I understand that certain times of the year for specific businesses and occupations the workload is increased, probably these periods are the ones that drain you the most, if this is true then maybe vacation is the best option.

Stress is a major negative disruptor to the lives of many.

I write this Blogpost because I am a victim of this dreadful disease too, and in my search I came up with these options.

I know people’s lives may take different forms, shapes and obstacles but with a little hope and action you can begin to change your life. There no limits in life only the ones we place on ourselves and hold together with our limited belief in life and success.

I urge you to find the strength to build a better life just one move at a time, one decision at a time and one action at a time. We have all heard the sayings “Rome wasn’t built in one day” and neither was the world, so give yourself some credit, you made it this far in life there were others who were not that strong.

Remember that; “Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”– Arnold Schwarzenegger.