Your personal identity and why it's important.

Posted on June 20, 2022 by Reggie Ramlochan, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

“It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.” – Andre Guide

I would like to conduct a simple exercise with you if you don’t mind, I promise its worth it.

It goes like this – How would you introduce yourself if we met?

Maybe something along the lines of “Hi I’m John Doe, I work with….”

Or probably “Hello I’m Jane Doe and I’m a project manager on the ABC project at…..”

Even “Hi I’m Kathy’s dad from the XYZ foundation…….”

Let’s all be honest here I would do the same and so would you.

However, what happens when you are alone who are you then?

Let’s take away, your job title, your community and family role, your affiliations with organizations, and all other external identifiers that carry a name, post or portfolio.

NOW!

Can you answer this question? – Who am I?

If your face looks like this because of that question, then you are not alone, believe me!

We all seek to fit into the social sphere, to do so, we act accordingly and that is understood.
I’m not referring to that social convention or Maslow Hierarchy of needs theory.

I’m referring to a more profound question that some seek their entire lives trying to answer.
Who am I and what is my personal identity?

Below the social construct who is this being that I call me!

When asked this question directly some of my clients because they are professionals, quickly lean into their brand, or their online space that they command. I usually get confident responses like;

I am a professional in the Oil and Gas industry……

I am a seasoned accountant with 10 years experience….

I am a senior executive in marketing……….

What I will say to all of you reading this is – Your identity is more than what you do or what your brand is on social media platforms.

Who you are is not some grand esoteric journey or a mold that is a one size fits all, however, it is a journey that carries its individual contents that makes up who you are nevertheless.

When I say who are you, I’m aiming to answer a deeper question, such as; when your soul speaks, “who” is that voice and is there a connection with how you act versus what is being said.

Your inner voice is the voice of divinity. To hear it, we need to be in solitude, even in crowded places. A. R. Rahman

Having read the contents thus far, I’m sure you may be a little “rattled” as some may say, but, that is a good thing, because it shows your intelligence and self-awareness is activated.

If what I’ve said so far brings you unease then it may be a case of simply this, “if you are shaken by your external experiences, then it means your internal framework is compromised.”

Read that again……

Is it beginning to make sense to you now?

If you do not know who you are then you will assume the shape and behaviors of the environment that you are housed in. Not to mention you will take up residence in the wrong community and that opens up your home to be robbed.

I do not want you to be a victim, I want you to live a life of purpose, meaning and value.
So how do I begin to take back or create my identity, I’m so lost is probably what you are saying.
Well.. To be lost is as legitimate a part of your process as being found. – Alex Ebert

I want to tell you of the dangers that lurk below the ignorance of being estranged from oneself.
You can be easily manipulated. – Yes others will use you as a tool if you do not know who you are and what you stand for.

You will feel unfulfilled – Being unfulfilled can quickly spiral into depression which leads to all sought of distress, not to mention seeking an outlet normally negative in nature.

Stress – When you are not happy with the life you have you will have a stressful existence and stress as we all know is dangerous to health.

Lack of Personal Growth – If you don’t know who you are and what you want out of life, you won’t be able to focus your energy, and therefore learning would be reduced to a minimum. Any growth you experience will be because of someone else driving you.

Dependency – To have a meaningful existence you would depend heavily on others and their decisions, having a good time is based on someone else’s agenda not yours. What’s worse is that you won’t even recognize it.

Now that you know a little about the threats, lets get into some solutions.

As a Certified Life and Business Coach I am here to help you find solutions to the problems you are living with and we do so together.

So let’s get into it shall we!

5 tips to finding your identity – The Journey begins here!

1. Seek to discover your personality type. This can help you discover themes about yourself that you never knew. These programs help you to understand yourself and how you connect and function in the world. The three most popular personality tests are;
The Big Five personality traits
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®
The Enneagram Type Indicator.

2. Observe Yourself – There will be things such as thoughts, reactions and emotions to certain things and situations that would indicate what you like and dislike. For example you may not like seeing people ill-treat animals and find that you are drawn to defending the safety of animals. Within these actions are your true intentions and interactions with life.

3. Determine your core values – This is an exercise stemming out of Point #2. As you reflect upon your observations, see what values emerge, such as; integrity, empathy, honesty and so forth. It is true that your choices and values can change, however, in order for them to change you must first know what they are, makes sense?

4. Find your Passion – Easier said than done I know, but what do you love doing? It is in seeking purpose that our true self begins to emerge. When you love something genuinely you become who you need to become in order to create opportunities for you to serve others by furnishing them with your gift.

5. Journal – I cannot understate the power of journaling. All your insights should be recorded or else it will be lost. Finding your identity is difficult and a lengthy process, I’m not going to lie because that never helps. Therefore, you will need to reflect and review, piecing together the critical components that make up the whole you.

I want to let you know that this is worth exploring and you should not underestimate the power of an unsolved identity. Whatever is not right with you, can be traced back to a distortion with your identity.

I hope this Blog would have been of value to you because I see this ever so often, not to mention I have experienced this as well. Working in a company and not having the ability to express your true self because there is a specific “order” that is deemed professional can be the easiest way to lose oneself.

“There is an amazing power getting to know your inner self and learning how to use it and not fight with the world. If you know what makes you happy, your personality, interests and capabilities, just use them, and everything else flows beautifully.” Juhi Chawla

If this was helpful to you and you want to dive into your own life then feel free to book a FREE consultation with me.