First there is no problem.

Posted on June 14, 2022 by Suzan Erritzoe Being One Counselling , One of Thousands of Spirituality Coaches on Noomii.

First there is no problem.

First there is an inner way of being that is true.
No matter what life situation I find my self in, No matter what crises or difficulty I experience, I now know that It is first not a problem.
I find it quite amazing how far the realization of that takes me, how it opens and frees my whole life.

I have come to see that whenever there seems to be an emotional issue with anything – whenever there is a tightening inside me, I am off.  I am, in that moment, believing that I need something, are holding on to something whether inside or outside, that I actually don’t need. And it goes with every area on any level of my life and span from being very loud and obvious to very very subtle.

Underneath the misconception, and deeper than my usual way of looking and experiencing, I am aware that it is possible to relax and be okay, even whilst something feels very difficult and painful.
I have recognized that I am not my experiences. That my experiences are created by my beliefs. 

Think for a moment of how animals meet difficulties or pain when they are hurt; they are simply in it without any stories attached to it, without any beliefs that this is wrong, without concerns, or wanting anything different. They are purely and adorably just in it, as is.
When I first got at touch of that possibility, my life started moving and changing in ways I would not have imagined. It was so freeing to see that I really didn’t need all I was holding on to – that I didn’t need to believe my experience. It freed up so much space for life to flow in, for ease, even when I was stretched and under pressure in my self, it allowed me to move more freely and with new clarity.

I have in several situations seen, that getting what I believed I needed or wanted, wasn’t what I actually needed, simply because in holding strongly to an idea, I am separated from my heart and being   – and then nothing is really worth much…
On the other hand, have I experienced a letting go of having whatever in the way I wanted or preferred it – and through the willingness to the loss is seemed to imply, found that I again was being “right side up”,  in alignment with that which is first, and always more important; being open. Being open to the love I am, that is always there when I allow it.

I am not talking about being open or letting go of being right, having it your way, in a pseudo spiritual manner – about being a nice and loving person, I am talking about our ability to rest in whatever is – as it is, without first having the need for anything to change, for a certain outcome. About inner relaxation and the  broader perspective that arises from how we  see and what we know on the level of the heart.

Once I was in a conflicting situation with a friend, where I knew I was right about whatever was the issue.  I felt such loss and emptiness when she finally agreed, and got my point.  The sadness was not about the issue itself, it was about the way I had been with her in proving my right – it was the way I had been giving more value to knowing I was right, than being open and reaching her.  
This is a good and simple example I find, to illustrate how making  "having what I want" more important than “How I am” in whatever I am pursuing.  When I am being “right side up”, meaning letting what I know deeper inside have most value, be first, I have noticed that I am fulfilled, I am having, so to speak, no matter the outcome of what I am doing.
So, in the situation with my friend, being right was not worth as much as being together I clearly saw.  The openness, the listening to the level in me that first has no need is essential, and I see that the results that comes out of that are more all encompassing – and true.  And when I move from there, I always have what I need and I really know that; first there is no problem :)