Considering A Job or Career Change? Before Deciding, Consider Pre-Quitting

Posted on June 04, 2022 by Jeff Rothman, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

You’ve decided it’s time for a change. You started a job search, interviewed with several companies, got an attractive offer, and accepted it. You’re excited and riding on cloud nine, but in the back of your mind, you’re dreading what comes next: telling your boss you’re leaving.

Will the response be best of luck, good riddance, or what can we do to keep you? The last one, the counteroffer, can be the most agonizing.

Google “counteroffer” and most of what you’ll read is that you should never accept one. In reality, it’s not that clear-cut.

In a recent national survey conducted by one of the largest retained search firms in the world, only 40% of senior executives and HR leaders agreed that accepting a counteroffer from a current employer will adversely affect one’s career. Furthermore, 78% of senior executives and 80% of HR leaders showed it is sometimes acceptable to accept one.

There’s no single road map for making this decision, and whatever route you choose could be littered with unforeseen risks. What you do before beginning your search can mitigate at least some of that risk.

Start with Some Soul-Searching
Begin by having an honest conversation with yourself about the reasons you want to make a change. Make a list and rank each by level of importance. Review it with people who know you well and get their input. Then ask yourself, what on this list can my employer address that would cause me to change my mind? Make sure you are crystal clear on exactly what they’d need to do for you to change your decision.

Next, if you work for someone you trust and with whom you have a healthy relationship, consider asking them for whatever changes you’re looking for—not everything on the list—just your most meaningful priorities—the ones that, if addressed to your satisfaction, would make the greatest impact on whether you want to stay or move on.

That’s the “pre-quit” conversation.

What is Pre-Quitting?
Pre-quitting doesn’t mean that you aggressively make demands and threaten to quit if you don’t get what you want. Don’t suggest you’re considering whether to make a change. What you’re looking for is a frank, sincere conversation with your boss about how you’d like to move your career forward.

Think of it as allowing your employer the opportunity to show their willingness to support your career. If they value your work and want to see you grow within their organization, you might be surprised by what they’re willing to do to help make that happen.

The idea of pre-quitting might make you uneasy. Before you rule it out, take a step back and carefully weigh the potential plusses and minuses. Don’t automatically assume you won’t get a positive response. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know!

Before deciding, try role-playing the conversation with a friend or co-worker, especially someone who knows your boss and can be a good stand-in.

The Benefits of Pre-Quitting
Pre-quitting gives you the opportunity to:

Take control of your career

Avoid spending time and energy on a distracting and emotional job search

Avoid putting your boss on the spot by resigning and burning that bridge

Demonstrate that you’re serious about your career and want to advance

Put yourself in a much better position to evaluate how you’ll react to a potential counteroffer

The last point might require some additional explanation. Let’s say you have the pre-quit talk, don’t get what you want, but get a counteroffer when you resign.

Look at it from their side: replacing you will take time. It’s disruptive. Isn’t it fair to assume they’re just trying to delay the inevitable and buying time to find your replacement?

After all, if they sincerely valued you, why did they wait until their backs were against the wall before showing that?

The Risk of Avoiding the Conversation
Let’s say you decided not to pre-quit and the time comes to submit your resignation. Next thing you know, you’re being showered with flattery, told you how much they’d hate to lose you, and they dangle a big raise in front of you.

Now you’re under pressure. Big time. They want you to decide. Quickly. You feel the heat. Your stomach is tied in knots. You start doubting whether leaving is the right decision. After all, change is hard and risky.

How do you know for sure if they’re sincere or just buying time until they can replace you? What happens if they drag their feet on fulfilling the commitments they made? How will you feel about continuing to work for a company that doesn’t demonstrate a commitment to keeping you happy until their backs are against the wall?

Haven’t you put yourself in an even more difficult position than if you had the pre-quit conversation up-front?

It’s Your Decision. Make it Carefully
With pre-quitting there are no hard and fast rules. You’ll face risks no matter which path you choose. Whatever you decide, plan ahead for how you’ll handle the resignation conversation, even if you’ve pre-quit.

Always assume that you will receive a counteroffer and have a plan for how you’ll react. That way, you’ll be able to more confidently handle whatever comes up and stay in control of the conversation, not to mention your career.