How to Create a Balanced Life: 5 Secrets to Feeling Grounded and More Fulfilled

Posted on April 25, 2022 by DeShawn Snow, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

I compiled this checklist of secrets to living a balanced and fulfilling life for those in the sports and entertainment industry (or other high performers) after reflecting on my direct experience and in my pursuit of peace in my divorce recovery. I recognize that in order to understand the beginning of what my “next” looked like, I needed to give intentionality and purpose to cultivating who I truly was. The steps I share in this checklist will create self-awareness that can be used as a tool to help pace yourself as you develop the daily discipline and commitment that a balanced life requires.

If you want to create a balanced life but are doing things at the costs of your personal health, wellbeing, and relationships, then this checklist has the secret ingredients needed to live a grounded and fulfilling life.

Secret #1: Understand What’s Driving You
There is an emotional side to everything we do that fulfills us and fuels us. The goal is to get into the target zone where you’re at your best on a consistent basis. Unpacking the Six Human Needs psychology (developed by Tony Robbins) can help attain this.

We are all driven by the need to fulfill six basic human needs. These are not just desires or wants, but profound needs which serves as the basis for every choice we make:

• The first four needs are fundamental: certainty (comfort), uncertainty (variety), love and connection, and significance (be heard, feel important, sense of purpose).
• The last two needs are needs of the spirit: growth and contribution. This is how you ultimately feel fulfilled.

Although everyone must regularly meet the first four needs, most people value two needs above all. These two primary needs are the driving force behind a person’s behavior.

We all have the same needs, but we develop different vehicles for meeting these needs. It may seem at times that your personal belief systems, habits and old patterns can block your ability to take action to get certain needs met. But often the problem is your needs and vehicles, not your intentions or beliefs.

All behavior is the result of us thinking we are meeting a need. People will violate their values to meet their needs because life seduces them to perceive that the behavior will certainly accomplish that. But if you change your perception, you can change your level of fulfillment.

Secret #2: Govern Your Matters of Concern
As a high performer (especially in the public eye), you are pulled in a lot of different directions. Family, friends and colleagues all want to share their burdens with you. And if you’re not careful, you’ll invest your limited resources on things that do not serve you or your immediate family.

In order to maintain a balanced posture and eliminate distractions, you can’t be governed by other people’s need of you. Your matters of concern is a limited resource and you have to invest what you care about wisely. It’s not selfish for you to choose yourself so that you can consistently and sustainably use the time and energy you have to create a life that truly matters.

What actions and what things do you spend time on that don’t serve growth, greater income, empowerment, God, your immediate family, or a bigger future?

Secret #3: Identify, Resolve and Prevent Roadblocks
Ever been at the top of your game and wanted to venture into other areas of interest, but feelings sneak up on you and leave you feeling paralyzed?

We make the mistake of jumping in feet first, fully committing everything we have physically, emotionally and financially…but then life throws us curveballs. And when these come, we have to make a choice to overcome these roadblocks, recognize them for what they are, and find a solution to rise above them.
You don’t have to let the roadblocks consume you. You don’t need to make them a reality. And you don’t have to create a story around them that will allow you to give up and justify your stopping. If you want to stop letting other things control you, then you need to take control of your own mind.

To create a healthy mindset, you must have the ability to identify the limiting beliefs and roadblocks as they come up, and have a process and formula to move through them quickly so that you can continue to build and grow your family legacy.

Secret #4: Determine Your Why
If you desire a clearer vision and a stronger drive, or if you’ve ever battle with self-doubt, then you need to unpack what’s important to you. The one thing that is truly important to you will drive you once you have everything and/or make you follow through regardless of any set of circumstances you come up against. That thing is your why. Knowing your why programs your brain to power through.

Ask yourself, what’s important to you about being successful?

My business coach took me through a 7-levels deep exercise to help determine what really drives me to accomplish anything in life. This is one of the hardest exercises that we have to do to reach that next level. I’m not talking about your profitability or lifestyle. It’s so much deeper than what we think. Your big why should go beyond your personal needs. You’ll have to go beyond surface level answers and dig deeper for answers that come from your heart and not your head.

When you’re faced with a big decision that will lead to a major life change, there’s only one thing that will keep you from sliding backwards. When you go back to your why, it’s game over!

Secret #5: Utilize Your Platform/Gifts in a Meaningful Way
You have a specific superpower and a perspective that you can teach to benefit others. There are parts of your life or business that you do so naturally—that you don’t see it as a gift—but are actually the answers to some of the biggest pain points that your peers are experiencing.

Knowledge is the most valuable thing on the planet and your specialized knowledge can easily be extracted for you to create a curriculum that’ll impact people’s lives. People would rather pay for shortcuts and capabilities taught by someone that already have gone through what they are going through.

To use your platform and gifts in a more meaningful way, you can turn what you already know into an online course or monthly membership program (even if you don’t have any tech skills or experience doing it). You just need to gain the capabilities to show up with courage, certainty and optimism.