Share something GOOD: The 3-1 Reframe
Posted on April 04, 2022 by Carolyn Smith, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
Our good energy lifts up others, even the grumpiest! Counter each negative with 3 positives and watch the ripples flow.
For all good, evolutionary ‘don’t get eaten’ reasons, our brains are tuned to watch for trouble. Our protective brains take note of negative input 3 times as much as these seemingly intelligent brains notice positive things. Except, far from the dangerous jungle, this imbalance costs us our peace of mind and trust in our relationships.
It might feel like recalling the glare from a competitor far more than celebrating the smile of a satisfied customer. We download our frustrations onto our sweetheart or kids carelessly and wonder why they snap back. When our tired, grumpy quip sticks with someone we care about, rather than the care and support we hope they feel, this 3-1 brainy quirk becomes a problem. When we kick ourselves, we need a 3-1 reframe.
You can be specific and count to three if you want to, but that’s besides the point. Just make sure you’re (essentially) thinking or saying 3 positive things for each negative. Share them with yourself and with those around you. Put them out to your SM feed and productive output, and in the energy you share with the world. Far from toxic positivity, this is about recognizing each other more deeply and empathetically than what’s on the surface. It’s about seeing past our survivor brains’ defensiveness and armour. You even know now that it’s worth your time to share even with the grumpiest ones – they need your 3 good thoughts the most. (and maybe it’s you – we are often hardest on ourselves.)
The negativity shows up everywhere., and it can feel infectious. Sarcastic slams are amusing, Honestly naming our negative emotions is important in some circumstances. But when we’re in ‘survivor mode’ we create sides instead of support. We’re either adding to the trouble, or reclaiming the way towards positive and healthy connection. So breathe. Look for the opportunities and the positive points and help them grow!
Three real, true, positive things, and your energy will bring up others around you. Be caring, resonant, connected.
It makes sense that our brains learned protective watchful behaviour. It doesn’t make sense to put up with its negativity now. Be positive, three times over.
