Topping Up Your Cup
Posted on April 04, 2022 by Carolyn Smith, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
One can't pour from an empty cup.
‘Topping up’ keeps your simmering panic and stress at bay, and takes less time than you think.
Everything is better with clear and optimistic perspective.
You can’t pour from an empty cup
Add little top-ups to your day and feel the optimism, calm and focus it brings.
Sure, you say, but “I’m running on empty: today is hectic and I can’t get my feet under me and if only I could!” We all know the advice: 20 min for meditating, an hour for exercise, fresh air, yoga, eating clean. Who has time for all that, and now I feel more stressed.
Take a breath – time for another breath. Take another. 10 seconds, maybe 15. Settle down a moment, and let’s learn what really works.
When hectic life is simmering all day, that’s your limbic system on alert, with stress hormones and an undercurrent of panic. Need I say more? It’s hard on your heart, your body systems, not to mention work and creativity, access to joy and relationships.
The answer – built right into you – is quicker and more accessible than you think. It’s in your breath, and sensations of touch or smell or visuals… it’s adjusts your oxygen levels and heart rate and pace of your breathing. It comes with replacing the panic thoughts with present awareness on your breath, or what you are touching/sensing/choosing now.
It calms the panic brain and awakens another calmer, brighter part of your mind that washes you with relief. And it doesn’t take an hour, or even 10 minutes.
Your panic brain panics and hollers at you: ‘but it can’t work, you don’t have time, don’t bother’ – … and you know that panic brain isn’t helpful like the clear and optimistic perspective. So breathe. Breathe again and then again. Feel the chair you’re sitting in, or your feet in your shoes, on the floor. Breathe again.
10 seconds helps. 30 seconds is better. 2 minutes of intentional grounding would hardly be noticed by anyone and you can add it onto filling the kettle for tea, or chopping veg for supper, and I expect if anyone could fathom the difference it makes for you (or for themselves) everyone would not only encourage and support you, they’d try it too. These momentary breaks with intention and awareness bring you clear and optimistic perspective. From there, you have real presence. And strengthening your mental fitness to take these breaks daily gives you lasting change. Real choice and real, good, power. YOU are present and connected and revived.
Absolutely, we all need longer breaks and the weekend hike or half hour sweat session works wonders! But holding out for those chances just runs down our batteries, and do you want to spend all the in-between time in exhausted, hectic or even panic mode? Who is that good for? How does that help our focus for the things we are leaning into or faced with?
See if you can plan ahead for your day to work in 4-5 2 minute intentional breaks. See if you can double one of them to 4 or maybe 5 minutes. If you get surprised with a shock, make sure to find those 2 minutes. What will you tell that panicked brain that worries ‘but you can’t! Not right now,?” And, how will you look back on your day and see if this idea helped?
If you want some support, some day to day encouragement or a big-picture look at what got you running on empty in the first place, reach out. I’ve learned (am learning!) to live my life so I don’t need a vacation, and I know the framework and coaching directions to make these changes last. It doesn’t look like palm trees or time off on a regular basis, but I find moments to notice the clouds or the differences in the trees from day to day, or to stretch my shoulders and neck and just breathe in and out, and in and out. We all know little ways to fill our mental fitness cups: let’s keep them topped up through the day and see how much brighter everything looks.
