Confidence Coaching for Women
Posted on March 25, 2022 by Joy Patton, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
How both/and thinking can be more powerful than either/or
In Navigating Polarities: Using Both/And Thinking to Lead Transformation, authors Brian Emerson and Kelly Lewis pose the question: “How do you do two seemingly opposite things at once?” Their key argument is that many people approach polarities with either/or thinking, but knowing how to use a both/and mindset offers another path to solving complex problems and easing tension in personal and professional relationships.
The book is associated with the Key Polarity Indicator Assessment that is offered through certified practitioners. My assessment results were surprising and transformational. In the one-hour debrief, the assessor interpreted results that revealed how my self-assuredness and confidence were at the opposite end of the polarity spectrum from openness. While, self-assuredness and confidence offers benefits, if overused or underused, these benefits can result in unintentional consequences. My overuse of these characteristics resulted in an instinctual reaction to close off anyone or anything that may diminish my confidence, thereby resulting in a low score on the openness side of the polarity spectrum. In essence, I was confident in myself but only on my own terms. My resistance to being completely open to others required me to be vulnerable and courageous and it was in this space that I saw a “Transformational Third Way” (Emerson and Lewis 2019). Now, I intentionally put myself out there and I have discovered that confidence and openness can be a both/and mindset instead of either/or.
In my work as a confidence coach, I have discovered that all too often clients have a limiting belief that things must be “either/or” and that the path to professional and personal success should be difficult. Through self-awareness and discovery, many of my clients realize that there is another way to see the situation and that way is often more effective. Their discovery of the both/and mindset opens a portal to a new way of thinking that frees them to be who they are without any doubt. After all, isn’t it much easier to swim with the current than against it? How can having a both/and mindset work for you?
Work Cited:
Emerson, Brian and Lewis, Kelly. 2019. Navigating Polarities: Using Both/And Thinking to Lead Transformation. Washington D.C.: Paradoxical Press.
Additional resources can be found at Key Polarity Indicator Resources
