Be more YOU and LESS of what is not serving you:)

Posted on March 24, 2022 by Lois Lavrisa , One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Let’s talk about “too much”

When I’ve overeaten (on the holidays, oh my!) it’s just simply too much. I’m bloated and tired. Yes, it was totally self- imposed (but oh so good). What I did to myself was too much.

But what happens if someone thinks YOU are too much?

Case in point. I have always been told I was too much…

• I talk too loud

• I talk too much

• I’m too friendly

• I ask too many questions

• I feel too deeply

• I cry too much

• I laugh too loudly

• I’m too stubborn

• I react with too much emotion

• I daydream too much

• I’m too neat and organized

• I argue a point too much

• I care too much

• I love too hard

• I’m too much a stickler for fairness and justice… (I could go on and on..)

Are you picking up what I’m laying down?

All my life I have heard, “Lois, you are too much.” In other words “Sis (my nickname), you are not right. You are wrong. You don’t fit in. To fit in you need to be less you. Sit down. Be quiet. Go along. Shut up.”

Be less you.

Less me?

How does one be less themselves?

(Sadly, we do it all the time.)

I can tell you how to be less yourself, because for years (who am I kidding, decades) I did it.

I tried to be less me.

Less Sis, less Lois. I shut up to make peace and by doing so, allowed people to walk all over me.

I quieted down and shoved my voice, opinions, ideas, thoughts, desires, dreams, wild streak, feelings… down my throat – deep inside me.

I SHUT UP & SHUT DOWN THE REAL ME.

(I 100% believe this one of the major causes for the significant health issues that resulted in two surgeries near my throat – tonsils and thyroid.)

I hid who I was (the real me who was too much) I camouflaged me in people pleasing. Perfectionism. I became a martyr.

Low self esteem, major self-doubt and shame were with me every single day.

And, I was a servant at the beck and call of other’s needs and wants.

All the while I buried my own wants and needs and dreams.

Being less me caused me to become a people pleasing doormat with low self esteem, huge anxiety …..and health issues!

I knew I had to change. So I read. I learned. I watched. I listened. I asked questions. I looked for answers.

After studying and watching other women who soared and succeed, I realized they were not being LESS.

They were being true to whomever they were. MORE.

They lived full out. Some quietly. Some loudly. The common denominator is that they were all themselves. Voices out there – being heard and soaring. Ideas twirling.

Dreams out there for all to see.

And I knew I had to stop giving a sh*t about being too much.

I stopped being less, and let the more me out.

And you know what happened being MORE me? It scared the living daylights out of me. It felt awkward and weird. It felt unnatural (Ironic that being the LESS me after all those decades began to feel natural- ugh!)

But slowly I let the real (MORE) Lois out.

I stood up for myself. I spoke my mind and began to let out my real voice. I said “No” (were I had always said yes as people pleasers do). I uncovered my dreams. I discovered my passion and purpose. I held my ground…

more, More, MORE!

People around me were like “What?! Who are you?” Because they were used to the people pleasing doormat.

But I moved forward, step by step, letting go of the LESS Lois and embraced the real LOIS.

The sometimes too much Lois. The whole real deal Lois.

We have this one precious life to live and I do not want to live it being LESS, I want to live it being ME. MORE.

Even if that me is TOO MUCH. I’d rather be too much me any day over being LESS of me.

How do you want to live this one precious life of yours? My suggestion? Be MORE you :)

Your always in epic-ness and joy-

Lois

PS: I’d love to help coach you - so you can be more YOU and LESS of what is not serving you:)