Saying Yes to a Healthy “No” – 3 Benefits to Being Assertive at Work

Posted on March 15, 2022 by Ryan Walter CPC, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

“No.” This is word that no one wants to hear. It is a simple word that carries power, certainty, and resolve. When we hear it, we often cringe. And when we say it, it can feel uncomfortable. It seems that “No” is becoming one of the most underused words in our workplace today. And “Yes” is becoming increasingly popular. Employers are saying yes to more and more project opportunities, and employees are saying yes to the additional work and longer hours that come with it.

In one of my previous articles entitled “Work-Life Balance – 3 Tips to Keep Work from Tipping the Scale,” I referenced an Indeed Survey related to employee burn-out during the pandemic. An astonishing 67% of those surveyed reported increased levels of burnout from pre-pandemic levels. Employees are simply saying yes to logging in more hours and taking on more responsibility. Why is this?

One of the reasons we do not say no enough is because in our core being there is an inherent need to feel loved and accepted. This is true for all humans, inside or outside the realm of work. Love is one of our fundamental human needs and when we say no to someone or something, with it comes the fear of rejection. We can risk a relationship by saying no. Saying no is difficult. We may have to let someone down. It may not feel good. But at the same time, what is it costing us by not saying it? When we can deliver a healthy no, there are benefits to both employers and employees. Below are 3 benefits to being assertive at work.

1. – Saying “No” Now Can Prevent a Future Pain Point

Breaking a pattern of saying yes to everything at work can be difficult in the beginning if it has been ingrained in us to always agree. However, when you associate a future pain to your decision, it may be easier to see the benefits of saying no.

For employers, this might mean thinking about the effects of staff workload, staff happiness, and the likelihood of getting additional help from other offices before saying yes to the next big project opportunity that presents itself. This requires taking a step back to see long-term effects of the decision. Something that may be helpful is to review your company mission statement. It if includes language of putting people first, identifies your employees as your greatest asset, or promotes a family- type work environment, consider the effects of your decision in that light. When your employees see that you are looking out for them, they will feel valued and naturally want to give forth their best effort.

For employees, the responsibility is ultimately on you to know your work limits. Most of us understand that there are times when we need to work late to meet a deadline. Deadlines are a part of life and sometimes providing the extra effort to meet them is required. However, when you are routinely saying yes to taking on additional work, you should also take a step back and evaluate the effects of your decision. By agreeing to work that you are not sure you can handle or a deadline that is unobtainable, recognize that you are simply delaying a pain point for a temporary feeling of consensus or to avoid a potential conflict.

When you say no to something or someone, be prepared to explain why. A healthy no is one that can clearly identify the impacts that accepting the request would have on you. How will it impact your mental health, your physical health, or your marriage? Be assertive in your explanation without complaining. Expressing a healthy no may be difficult, but it may earn you respect with your manager and help them better understand the impacts of their own decisions. Being upfront can potentially save you from some greater pain down the road and possibly some sleepless nights that may follow.

If your work culture is a continuous work culture where everyone is expected to always be logged in, saying no to the extra hours or next project can be especially difficult. You will stand out by going against the flow. However, recognize that your decision is for you, and not for them. When your life begins to feel unbalanced and you are losing yourself in your job, see this as a red flag that something needs to change.

2. – Saying “No” Can Provide Personal Power

Know that there is personal power in saying no. Honor yourself by saying no when you need to. Negative thoughts may flood your mind which can trick you into thinking that you will be seen as a failure on your team, or that you are setting yourself up to get fired. However, recognize that these are just thoughts and not ones that you have to accept. Question the disempowering thoughts that surface. For example, “How likely is it that I will be fired for not choosing to work this weekend?” Accept the thoughts that serve you and put yourself in an empowered state. Think about how you are honoring yourself and putting yourself above your job. You can be assured that this will produce a much different feeling inside you and help to validate your decision to say no.

3. – Saying “No” Can Improve Your Confidence

When you know your value, saying no becomes much easier. You can walk with confidence. If you have been working hard over the years to add new skills, you are improving your existing skills, and you have talents that are desirable in your field of work, know a good employer will recognize this and listen to what you have to say. It may even create a shift in your company culture as others begin to feel emboldened to express their own feelings.

If your situation is one where you have delivered a healthy no which was not received well at work and your job is on the line, believe in yourself and your ability to find another job. Believe that there is a company out there that will appreciate you and the gifts that you have. It may be hard at first but putting forth a healthy “No” can prove to be the best thing that you can ever do for yourself.