5-Steps to Create a New Life After Life Hits You Hard

Posted on March 08, 2022 by DeShawn Snow, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

I created this checklist to serve as a launchpad for your emotional healing and transformation journey. After my divorce, I wasted years numbing my pain and running from my reality. I was broken and stuck until I finally decided to put my “big girl panties” on and do the work. The steps I share in this checklist will help you to stop the panic, take control of your experiences, and ensure that you are in the right state to move forward and tackle the journey ahead of you.

This checklist is filled with my proven steps, but it was not designed as comprehensive “start to finish” material. It is a checklist I use with our warrior clients on the inside to help them get unstuck and move forward with creating a new life after experiencing a major life transition.

If you want to stop the panic and climb out of despair, but you’re stuck and can’t figure out what you value more than your pain and loss, then this roadmap is the essential launchpad for your emotional healing and transformation journey.

Step One
Acceptance is the most important and necessary part of the healing process. When you hide behind good vibes instead of facing up to the reality of your life, you have a problem. Resistance will fuel the negative energy that keeps you feeling broken and discouraged.

Face Your Reality

You must get focused on the direction you want to point your ship. In the midst of your healing journey, there can be an overload of emotions, thoughts and feelings that can take you down difficult paths.
You need to set your intentions and get laser focused on where you want to go rather than being guided by so many outside forces. You have to decide to pull your sleeves up and do the inner work.
You must be honest about the issues that are causing you pain and be open to take the next steps to fix it.

Step Two
When life pulls the rug right from underneath you, it’s quite common for you to find yourself stuck on an emotional rollercoaster shifting from depression to anger regularly. It’s an exhausting cycle that keeps you in an unproductive state of emotional turmoil and limits your ability to have a quality connection in life.

There are two different sides of emotions that take turns triggering and relieving each other.
Emotions lead us to take action. When a deep fear or limiting belief prohibits us from taking action, our emotional roller coaster takes up the void left by that lack of action.

Step Three
The secret to moving on is learning that this is not that. Because we are triggered by our past, we tend to make things what they are not. We don’t respond to what’s happening in the moment, we are responding to what happened in the past.

Sometimes we use words as metaphors. But as you progress in your healing journey, you need to understand that the things you say and think will make your brain feel it is true.
What you focus on you feel; even if it’s not true.

So you have to be very conscious of your words because we can hypnotize ourselves with them.

Step Four
We can be inspired or we can be scared… either circumstance will move us to make a decision. We are driven either by pain or pleasure. But when we are indifferent or when we are numb, we become stagnant. We don’t take action because we don’t make decisions.

It’s in your moments of decisions that your destiny is shaped -Tony Robbins

You have to decide to face what’s in front of you because our decisions about what to believe or not believe control how we feel, and thus control our actions.

There are three decisions that we consciously and/or unconsciously make every moment of our lives.

Step Five
Sometimes you just need to give yourself permission to feel exactly how you feel, accept and acknowledge it, and then release and move forward using new strategies.

Give yourself the space and grace as you progress along your emotional healing and transformation journey.

While you are working through your limiting beliefs and meanings you are assigning things, you inevitably will get triggered. When this happens remember:
• Don’t be hard on yourself
• Don’t try to push the feelings down
• Sit with it, acknowledge the trigger and then move on.