The Value of Kindness
Posted on February 03, 2022 by Ernest Lissabet, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
An article about the social value of kindness and an examination of "pro-social" and "anti-social" behaviors, with practical suggestions of kindness.
In a study published in 2019 by the Harvard Medical School (The Heart and Science of Kindness), Dr. Melissa Brodrick identified the benefits that people accrue from practicing kindness. Science has demonstrated that practicing kindness produces wholesome serotonins in the brain, which can generate happiness, pleasure, energy, love, and help prolong a person’s lifespan. Conversely, practicing kindness serves to decrease pain, stress, anxiety, depression, and blood pressure. The science is clear that routinely practicing kindness has clear health benefits for human beings. So why does it feel like there are so many angry people today?
The science of social psychology may have some clues for us. First identified by social psychologists John M. Darley and Bibb Latané in 1968, the so-called ‘Bystander Effect” hypothesizes that people are much less likely to help a victim or someone in distress, if there are other people present. In other words, if a single person comes across someone in distress, they are much more likely to help the person in need, than if they were with a group of people in the same situation. Further, the likelihood of intervention correlates with the degree of responsibility the bystander may feel, such as if they deem the person worthy and deserving of help, the competence of the bystander, and the relationship between the bystander and the victim. In society today, the social, political and media forces which are promoting inequality, grievances and social resentments, are thus very probably heightening the “Bystander Effect” and diminishing the wholesome effects of practicing kindness by coarsening society. If the current trends continue and some segments of society continue to dehumanize other parts of society, the field for the practice of kindness will be greatly diminished.
In a larger sense, however, the practice of kindness is but one segment of what are commonly referred to as “prosocial behaviors.” Beyond simply practicing kindness, prosocial behaviors include a wide range of happiness-inducing activity, including helping others, sharing, comforting, cooperating, and the capacity to empathize with other people. Genuine concern for the rights of others, their feelings, and the state of their personal welfare, are also categorized as forms of prosocial behavior. Weather proactive in nature —prosocial actions that are self-benefitting; Reactive in nature, or actions that are a response to the needs of others; or generally altruistic in nature—actions to help others with no expectation of any kind of reward—prosocial behaviors serve to generate kindness and hence promote more happiness.
The opposite of prosocial behaviors is, of course, anti-social behaviors. These are forms of behavior which either actively harms others, or which lack any kind of consideration for the well being of other people. Taken to an extreme, anti-social behavior becomes a mental disorder known as Antisocial Personality Disorder, also sometimes called Sociopathy. Sociopathic people show little regard for concepts of right and wrong, they generally ignore the rights and feelings of other people, and they tend to be manipulative, antagonistic, callous, and typically exhibit little remorse or guilt for their behavior. Not surprisingly, sociopathic people typically struggle with human interactions, leading to an inability to function in a working, academic, social or family environment.
Can Life Coaching help a person become a kinder human being? The answer is yes, but as with all coaching engagements, the process assumes an otherwise normal human being who recognizes they need to develop the habit of kindness. Because this person already has exhibited enough introspection to self-evaluate and recognize the need for some changes, a Life Coach can successfully work with this person with a reasonable expectation of success.
However, people with full-on sociopathic tendencies are beyond the ability of most life coaches to work with, precisely because they seem to lack the capacity for honest introspection. Such people are in need of a mental health professional, not a life coach. It is important to see the difference.
Ultimately, the proliferation of anti-social political and media influences today, threatens to transform society in coarse and unwholesome ways. The good news is that people everywhere can resist these trends, simply by cultivating the practice of kindness in their own lives. Start by modeling prosocial actions, especially before children and students. This is something that teachers everywhere already understand. Be sure to also praise acts of kindness when you witness them, even if with just a few kind words yourself. Encourage others to practice kindness. Finally, cultivate new skills, such as taking a CPR course or learning first aid, so you can be ready to help when the day comes that your help is needed.
The value of kindness is very much underappreciated in society today. There are many forms of pro-social behavior which people everywhere can begin practicing right now, today, and which confer many positive and wholesome psychological and physical health benefits. What are the ways that you integrate the value of kindness into your life?
