What are the 3 Vital Things You must Give Yourself? (but now about presents)

Posted on February 03, 2022 by Diana Dentinger, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

What do you think abut when you hear “give yourself” something? Could it be “give yourself a break”, “give yourself some time”, “give yourself some tender loving care /TLC)”? Or do you think about shopping and buying something?

Maybe you reward or spoil yourself after you reach a milestone or achievement. Is it something valuable, a trip, a new car? Is it something you need, like replacing your phone because you want one with more memory and a better camera? Or is something that you don’t need but want as a treat like a special vacation.

Imagine not needing to “shop around” to look for what to give yourself. Sure, without treating yourself to things, life might be a bit boring, but if you haven’t given yourself these 3 vital things, you might just be wasting time, money and energy on the rest.

For a moment, take yourself out of the picture and imagine what you would really want to give a child. If you are a parent, you most likely want to give them the best. You might imagine “the best” starts with giving food, shelter, protection, education, manners, values, experiences or opportunities.

But what I am talking about is less about the tangible things in life. For the past 30 years I have been in the Personal & Professional Development Industry as well as raised 4 children, pretty much as a single parent, living in a foreign country. I have seen that these 3 vital things are important in not just giving my children, but even in coaching adults of all ages, social and economic conditions. You might have never thought about giving yourself these, but afterwards will see how they are the foundations for everything else.

1. Give yourself a “Sense of Person”.

What do you think of when you hear “it makes sense”? That it is logical, right? And maybe not just rational, but that it feels good too.

So the first vital thing you must give yourself is a “Sense of Person”. This means that you, as a person, with a personality, deeply know who you are. You need a clear Identity, just as you need a name. And part of this is in your Personality which contains all the tools and talents that you use to create your life as well as fix things if they are not going well.

How do you describe yourself? Take a moment and jot down your top 10 talents. Are the words juicy and emotionally moving. Writing that you are “determined, nice, kind, etc” are a bit vague and here is why. Years ago when I conducted more Corporate Trainings and Team Building Seminars, I would ask all the participants these same questions and to share their answers with the person next to them.
What I would find almost 100% of the time, is that most of the adults couldn’t describe themselves confidently with 10 positive adjectives. Either they were not aware of them on a conscious level or they didn’t have the vocabulary. Then when it came to saying the words out loud, most of them were embarrassed to share as if it were top secret.

My mini research concluded, sad as it sounds, that too many adults simply don’t know who they are. They don’t have a “Sense of Person”. How about you? Do you just go through the motions on the hamster wheel of life? Or do you ever get confused thinking you are your “roles” (wife, mother, job title or degree).

We are in times of rapid change and unrest. So now more than ever it is vital for you to know yourself, be yourself and act coherently with who you really are. This supplies you with the confidence you need to bounce back when things get tough. From what I see and hear, so many people are feeling lost. And I feel this is because they lack a soldi “Sense of Person”.

As human beings, we all, somewhere in our mind and at sometime in our lives will ask ourselves “Who am I”? Philosophers dedicated their lives to finding answers to this troublesome human enigma. The simplest, yet most profound question / answer of all times is: “To be, or not to be”.

So who are you? Discover it by getting your Complete Personality Profile in the Best You Yet Course on the Your Life Your Way Academy website. It is fun to have a vocabulary of rich descriptive words that move you to be your best.

2. Give yourself a “Sense of Purpose”.

But as humans we also ask ourselves: “Why am I here?” So the second most important thing to give to yourself is a “Sense of Purpose”.

To have energy and vitally, you need to feel that your presence, that you being here makes a difference. Your purpose is not to just fulfill the basic Universal Human Needs like having shelter, a job, money and belonging to a group.

Did you grow up in a family that talked about improving yourself so you positively impact others? Have you ever asked yourself the question of why you are here? In that “sense” or logic, your
“purpose” is to give who you are – as a person – to use your talents to help others, create joy and solve problems.

But the deeper “Sense of Purpose” is more innate than you can imagine. It is unique to you. It is your project. Let’s use a different kind of example so you get this easier. It has nothing to do with spirituality or religion, believing or even not believing in anything else.

It has to do with the nature of creativity. Any creative process begins with a problem. Without a “problem” or desire for improvement, people do not think about or take action on
something. Let’s use a real problem so you can see what this “Sense of Purpose” is all about in practical terms.

Years ago there was the problem that houses often burned down and people died because they could not get out in time. The problem made people think about how to solve it. Out of the problem came many creative solutions. So when you formulate the “Sense of the fire extinguisher” or the “Sense of smoke alarms” is to prevent or put out house fires. It is the same for you when you formulate your “Sense of Purpose”. The sense of your life is to be the solution to certain issues when you give the best of who you are.

I have seen it in all my clients, that they dedicate their life unconsciously to an issue that later they discover is closely connected to their “Sense of Purpose”. And when they become aware of it, their life becomes so much more meaningful.

One example was a woman, a head gynaecologist, who remembered through Coaching that her great grandmother died giving birth to her grandmother. In a certain “sense” the problem she “solved” was keeping women from dying while delivering babies. From a professional perspective, the “Sense of Purpose” of why she became a doctor originated from a problem generations ago. And that is how it is for everyone.

A lot of my clients are in their 40’s and come to me because they feel “empty”. We could even call it “mid-life crisis”. It is an age in which you start asking yourself questions about who you are and why you are here. You have dedicated so many years in a 9-5 job or role but you know you have so much more inside to express. And that leads us to the third vital thing.

3. Give yourself a “Sense of Potential”.

Finally the third thing: Give yourself a “Sense of Potential”. You can feel your gifts, strengths, qualities and talents. You know they are there but maybe just don’t know how to access them.

Now more than ever we are living in a disposable society in which we throw away so much. We live in an instant gratification society too. We want things fast and easy. It seems that fewer people today are willing to work at something to get better. People waste their potential because it takes time to practice to be and do better. Take the example of doping that goes on in sports as compared to hard work.

Inner knowing is innate but we are not taught how to tune into ourselves so we aren’t clear on our Personality, Purpose nor greater Potential. Just as a baby “knows” not to be complacent to lay on her back but rather to sit, crawl, walk and run, in that order… and it is the same with you. Inside you know there is more to express. But because you don’t have a clear “Sense of Person” you might tune into other people, following what they do or comparing yourself to them.

Life doesn’t make much sense unless you are living your sense of person, purpose and potential. So if it ever happens that you feel powerless or that things don’t make sense, go back and find answers to each of these: who are you, why are you here and what more can you be.

I am here to help you with the BEST YOU YET Course that comes with your Complete Personality Profile. It is fun, because the most fun thing it being you!

Reach out when you are ready to get back on your path in life, full of energy and enthusiasm.