The Downside of High Achievement: Why Using Pain as a Motivator Is Unsustainable
Posted on January 25, 2022 by Justin Gerard, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Are you unable to feel joy and satisfaction with the success you've accomplished? Find out how you can stop criticising yourself and start living.
Before we dive in, let me begin by sharing my personal definition of high achievers. In my view, high achievers are individuals who perform exceptionally well and do not settle for mediocrity in any aspect of their lives. However, it is not uncommon for high achievers to excel in one area while underperforming in others.
Many high achievers, in their pursuit of success, end up punishing themselves. By making themselves feel angry, frustrated, and miserable towards themselves, they often convince themselves that they are not good enough or do not deserve success. In other words, they use pain as a motivation to do better and perform better next time. While it may seem like a good idea initially, using pain as a motivator may not be sustainable in the long run.
Consequently, high achievers often find themselves dissatisfied with their performance and achievements. They hear a voice in their mind (critical mind) constantly criticizing them and saying things like, “You could have done better” or “You should have completed this task yesterday.” As a coach, I have noticed that high achievers attribute this voice to their upbringing. It may stem from a past experience when their parents or teachers told them that they could have done better.
Unfortunately, the core programming that runs the critical mind never upgrades as individuals become more successful in their careers or finances. Using pain as a motivator for success is not sustainable because it can rob one of their satisfaction and joy in life. Over time, it can cause an individual to become numb and unable to feel emotions. The brain blocks all emotions to protect the individual from feeling pain, including joy, happiness, sadness, excitement, and frustration. Have you ever encountered anyone at work who seems emotionless and unable to connect with others? When a person chooses to become numb, they become less approachable and their social and relationship life deteriorates. They forget how to show and receive love, and are unable to keep in touch with people they care about.
To break this cycle and stop using pain as a motivation for success, there is a simple strategy that one can follow. Firstly, it is crucial to acknowledge that the “Critical mind/Mindset” has served its purpose in the past and brought the individual to the current stage of life where they are enjoying success. Secondly, expressing gratitude towards the critical mind while realizing that it is no longer sustainable for the future is essential. It is essential to upgrade and transform oneself and to be kind and compassionate towards oneself. One can do this by treating themselves as they would treat a best friend. Would they criticize their best friend for their hard work and accomplishments? Unfortunately, we often treat ourselves far worse than we treat the people we care about.
It is vital to schedule time to feel emotions in the body. Emotions are meant to be felt, and we often forget to take the time to do so. We must stop judging and classifying emotions as good or bad. Emotions are what make us human, but in the corporate world and family life, some emotions are not allowed to be expressed, shown, or even felt. Unexpressed emotions will eventually take a toll on the body in the long run. To feel emotions, set an alarm every four hours to remind oneself to feel the emotions in the heart and gut, without judgment. Use the emotion to empower oneself into action towards achieving the desired goal.
In conclusion, high achievers need to be kind and compassionate towards themselves, feel their emotions, and upgrade and transform their mindset to attain sustainable success.
