How do you show up for your children?
Posted on January 21, 2022 by Ursula Pfafferott, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
What could parents do to help create a healthier child, or equip your child with more healthy boundaries and methods to become a better adult?
I would like to share the importance of how parents behaviour affect their children. I have seen a child in class acting out and not listening. When engaging with other children he would hit them and then cause harm and fights in the classroom. Upon inquiry I found that the parents were going through a divorce and the child was living with the father due to their financial situation. I was advised that the father liked the ladies and this is why the mother decided to leave. (Please know that not only men do this however woman too, so this could have easily been the other way round.)
As the weeks passed, the mother would hide in the school to see her son. This was very disruptive for the child and for the class as he continued to act out with very aggressive behaviour. At a point I could see the energy of his father in him. In this time, I remained empathetic to this poor boy that had no way of regulating his own emotions. He is 5 years old.
Then something changed. I saw he started participating in class and that he was no longer hitting other children and paying attention to learn with the rest of the class. I saw a softer side to him and then inquired again to find out if anything changed. His mother found a way that he could live with her full time instead. I could see how his energy was different in class and how he treated the other children with kindness.
As parents or grown ups we get caught up in our own little worlds and never think of the impact we have on children and how this affects them in good or bad ways. How are you showing up for your child? A child can only do what he or she is taught by a parent, caretaker, teacher or siblings. When you are challenged by your children, what is happening inside of you? Children can pick up when you are anxious and this can be reflected back to you in a different way. How do we show up for our children?
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