5 ways to get unstuck when we find ourselves at a crossroads

Posted on January 12, 2022 by Shalini Kellinghaus, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

We’ve all been there. Getting to a crossroads can be difficult and leave us feeling overwhelmed, scared and stuck. We feel too much pressure and either freeze or force decisions that we are not sure about. Maybe you have worked in a career and were set out to pursue it only to find that you suddenly are not sure about it anymore. Maybe you are in a committed relationship that you thought would not change but you question it or its dynamics. Or you want to move to a new country but don’t know where to begin. Maybe you have been forced into a situation that you never anticipated. Either way, in every case we feel the discomfort and want to get out.

Here are 5 ways to get unstuck when we feel stuck:

1. Meditate

Meditation is a great tool to quiet the clutter in our minds and help our brains untangle. Our bodies have a great ability to heal and transform ourselves and come up with solutions if we nurture it and create the right environment. Sitting still for at least 10 minutes daily can help us gain more clarity and move towards better self-awareness. Meditation also helps us to not identify with every thought and feeling that enters our brains because it helps us see them for what they are: just thoughts and feelings that arise much like sounds on the streets. If we ran after every sound on the street, we would never get anything done, and the same applies to thoughts and feelings. We learn to acknowledge and stay with the feelings rather than become and feed them.

2. Take care of the inner child

Often times our feelings of being stuck come from a lack of self-care and self-connection. We all have an inner child that needs our attention and needs to be integrated. If we push it too hard and neglect it, it can sabotage our lives and create feelings of being stuck and lost. It retreats to fear and freezes or an inner critical voice steps in and tries to shame us into action. Either way, this usually does not have a healthy outcome. Feelings of being stuck are a clue to our inner needs. Exercises to connect with our inner child can be non-dominant hand-writing or doing something that you loved doing as a child or simply asking our inner parts what they need.

3. Exercise

When we exercise, our bodies releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins connect with receptors in our brains that decrease our perception of pain. Endorphins further trigger a positive feeling in the body, similarly to morphine. Exercise can help us move out of a rut and shift our headspace tremendously in ways that will be more proactive and solution focus and help us get unstuck.

4. Journaling

Often times when we get to a crossroads our minds are overflowing with thoughts, ideas, beliefs, inner voices, external opinions and factors that we are not even aware of. It feels much like tangled cords, we cannot seem to grasps a clear thought. Journaling is a great way of externalising the internal struggle and untangling those cords so we can see them in full clarity.

5. Reach out

We need other people. As a species we are dependant on one another for safety, community and identity. If we don’t share our internal world with anyone its darkness can get much bigger than necessary, often it helps to talk to someone and be seen, validated and heard.

Coaching is a great way of making use of that tool. In a coaching session you will get the opportunity to be seen and heard as well as mirrored, coaches are trained to ask the right questions. This has a tremendous influence on reducing internal fears and anxiety and affirms us that we are not alone and that what we feel is normal, valid and understandable. Coaches help you increase self-awareness and remove mental blockages in order to move towards your goals and gain confidence and clarity.

A crossroads is not something bad, and sadly a lot of people attach a level of shame to it, unsure what others might think or unsure of what it says about themselves. Finding the courage to face our challenges and transform is in actuality very brave. Getting unstuck when we find ourselves at a crossroads is possible. There is nothing bad or strange about it. Change is the only constant in life and if we find ourselves embracing it, beautiful things will happen.