How to Find Clarity When You're Trapped in Indecision.

Posted on December 03, 2021 by Jessica Urquhart, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

As a Decision Empowerment Coach, when I talk with new clients about what’s holding them back from making decisions for a big change in their life or career, the most common item at the top of their wish list is CLARITY.

Everybody wants “clarity” before they take any drastic action or make big moves. Without clarity, they feel frozen with indecision. Seemingly blocked by this massive boulder obstructing their view, unable to see the destination of where they want to go. If only they had some clarity, they say…

And that makes sense! Clarity is super helpful, no doubt – I sure appreciate a clear sense of what I’m working towards! And it IS possible to develop, clarity is not some esoteric ideal. In fact, gaining clarity is my first area of focus with all new clients – we get right into it.

But interestingly, when I dig deeper to define what clarity actually means to my clients in the early stages of our work, what often gets described to me is an expectation for CERTAINTY.

They’ve been out there looking for certainty that they’re not going to regret a big mistake, before making a move. They’ve been searching for confirmations that they won’t lose everything they’ve worked for by changing directions. They’re expecting that inner “knowing” that they’re doing the right thing by taking a leap, before really looking at where they can land.

Change doesn’t look safe from here and safe feels better than sorry. So they get stuck.

If this resonates with you, then here’s a hard lesson…

✨

To find clarity, you’ve got to let go of any need for certainty.

✨

At least to get started, you’ve gotta drop it. Certainty is just not available yet.

Clarity and certainty are entirely different metrics that start forming at opposite sides of the decision-making process, and they develop from different mindsets.

In fact, from a logic standpoint, certainty relies on some form of clarity to exist. Right? It’s impossible to be certain about something if we can’t clearly define what that something is.

So to find clarity, you need to start looking at what clarity actually represents.

Clarity during decision-making means having a succinctly stated objective that’s easily understood. Clarity provides definition and focus. Clarity develops from a purpose or reason. Clarity speaks to the root of WHAT you do & don’t want and WHY.

Certainty, on the other hand, is based on scales of probability and vetted from an analysis on HOW. How will you get there, how will it work, how long will it take, how likely are the results going to match your expectations, how can you protect yourself from risks.

HOW is an important question to answer but it requires having that clearly defined objective to make much sense.

From a mindset standpoint, certainty benefits from skepticism; an ability to identify and challenge assumptions, proving or disproving with testing and data. Certainty comes from the mind churning with logic, stepping in with a raised eyebrow saying “Oh yeah? Prove it.”

Conversely, forming a sense of clarity comes easier when one has an exploratory mindset, a willingness to look beyond boundaries, tuned to possibility, and a deep connection to what’s fundamentally valued. Clarity of vision starts from the desires of your heart and soul that sing from within.

Clarity and certainty support each other through the decision cycle, and both components continue to evolve and refine over time as more information becomes available. But clarity must start forming first in order to give certainty something meaningful to dissect and fine-tune.

So if you’re searching for clarity and feeling lost, make sure you’re not trying to shortcut your way into certainty first. There’s nothing there yet.

“But Jess” – you might say to me – “that makes sense and I swear I’ve been looking for clarity, not certainty, but I can’t set an objective because I simply don’t know what I want.”

I know how that feels… I get it. Sometimes we get a very strong sense that it’s time for a change, but we feel quite lost when it comes to pinpointing what we want instead. All we can manage to say is that we want something different – which is a fine place to start from.

But having been there, I’m going to challenge you to consider this nuance about certainty more deeply.

Is it true that you cannot define what you want with clarity? Or are you unclear about what you want because you can’t see HOW it could be possible, so you shut down the idea before it takes definition?

If you’re having a hard time letting go of the HOW when trying to get a grasp on clarity, try stretching outside the box by asking yourself this…

What would I LOVE to be, do or have if I knew that anything I dared to desire was possible and my only job was to name it?

What words come to mind?

Write them down.

Give yourself permission to suspend disbelief for a while, play with that question, dance with that question, then write down any thoughts that come up to start giving your desires definition.

You don’t have to commit to what you write down. These are free-flowing thoughts, welcome to come and go without consequence.

▶ Do this simple exercise for 10 minutes each day for a week and just see what you can discover about your ideals. Sit in a quiet space, remove distractions, and dedicate yourself to exploring your inner voice without boundaries or rules.

Make a list, draw a mind map, doodle images or write bubble letters across the page – whatever feels good. If you find yourself running out of words or ideas, switch up your environment. Go for a walk outside or get some exercise to clear your mind of clutter then ask yourself this question again:

What would I LOVE to be, do or have if I knew that anything I dared to desire was possible and my only job was to name it?

This exercise may seem silly and futile but it’s not as easy as it sounds and chances are, you don’t often give yourself time to daydream anymore. Life easily gets too busy, too serious and too full of responsibility for “indulging” in our imagination, but that’s where the magic begins.

And remember, we’re not denying that need for certainty and pretending it isn’t important. We’re just locking it outside the room for a while so we can play.

Creating a safe, carefree space for your deepest wishes to be expressed and acknowledged for what they are, without the pressure of first knowing HOW, is one of the strongest catalysts to clarity.

Go on, just try it! Let me know how it goes.

▬▬▬

If you’re longing to lead your life or career in new directions but feel lost in a quest for clarity, I offer 1:1 coaching services to help you clear the fog and get focused on defining your objectives for change. With my 1 month VIP, 3 month and 6 month Decision Empowerment programs, we take a strategic + heart-centered + soul affirming approach through all facets of making life-changing decisions (including the how!) that create positive impact. Send me a private message if you’re interested, or schedule an intro call at www.altazcoaching.com/calendar and we’ll chat to see if we’d be a good team for your visions of making a change.

Copyright © 2021 ALTAZ, LLC All rights reserved.