Fearlessness is a myth

Posted on November 01, 2021 by Michelle Gauthier, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Fearlessness.

When I have asked my clients and my students what they want, many times the answer is to be fearless. When they are fearless, they will be able to do everything they want. The thing that has been holding them back, is fear…or so they say.

I love that answer, only because they see there is something holding them back, and they know THAT IF they OVERCOME (INSERT SOMETHING HERE) THEY get to have what they desire in life. The problem is, there is no such thing as being 100% fearless. Imagine the person who is the most courageous, inspirational and powerful person you know. Do you think they have absolutely no fear? Ask them if you can. Chances are, they will come back with a ‘hell no! I have fears’, or something along those lines.

Here’s why fearlessness is a myth. Fear is innate. It is designed to keep our being safe. We subconsciously use it for survival, initiating our flight or fight response. Fear has kept us alive up until now. The fear people typically want to be free of is the fear that has held them back.

As a confidence coach, I have had many people want to have the courage and confidence I have. When I tell them that I am not always courageous, nor as confident as they have made me out to be, there is such disbelief. I am only human, but I also have tools to get me through the fear.

I was interviewed on the topic of confidence, and right up until we went live I was nervous, freaking out, and entertaining my limiting beliefs. In the end I surrendered to the experience and knew that whatever happened was meant to happen.

Want to know my secret on combating fear? It’s pretty simple. Just do it anyway.

That’s it! Are you scared to ask for a raise? Just do it. Are you afraid of being rejected? Just do it. When you get into your head about all the things that could go wrong, or all the reasons we ’shouldn’t’ do something, you are not living to your full potential. You will never know exactly what you are capable of if you are operating in your box of guaranteed safety.

For me, it’s not about the outcome of pushing through your fears, instead it’s about who you become by doing it. When you can work through your fears, it opens up a world of possibility. If you want to live a life of fearlessness, begin with the willingness to be courageous and get uncomfortable.

Three tricks that have worked for me to become comfortable with accepting my fear and ‘doing it anyway’ are:

1. Have a day, or a few hours of saying “Yes let’s” to anything that comes up. I did this as a leadership activity and it removes the fear of judgements because everyone involved gets to have equal input of what to do. It can be as silly or as bold as you would like! Shonda Rhimes has published her book “The Year of Yes” which also goes along the same concept and is remarkably powerful. As soon as you choose to say yes, the universe provides you with remarkable opportunities.
2. Shift your mindset. Instead of thinking “I am scared/terrified/nervous” shift it to " I am excited!". Honestly, just that little change has changed my own energy around events/situations. Sometimes I even tell myself “this is a great opportunity!”. Try it and see how your body responds to the words you say.
3. Ask myself what is the worst that could happen. Then I work through it, creating a plan. Follow up questions can also include “Would that be so bad?” or “does that matter to me?”. Often times our brains create an unlikely worst case scenario.

Now you can understand that you don’t have to be fearless. Nobody is. Next time you are faced with a ‘fearful’ situation, try some of the suggestions above. Ask yourself what good can come out of it on the other side. When you push through and do it anyway, you will see how exhilarating it can be. If you’re not sure where to start, or how to shift your mindset, I would absolutely love to connect and work together to conquering the debilitating fears for you to live the best life you can imagine.