Relationships

Posted on October 05, 2021 by Terri Rowland, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Hi, my name is Terri Rowland, and I’m a certified life coach.

Today I want to talk about relationships. I was talking to my brother the other night, and when I talk to my brother I always do all the talking. But I was telling him about how my husband took two of my sons to the lake, which is just down the road from us, to go fishing using all of his, my brother’s, fishing gear, and they were so excited to go. My youngest son Blake, even caught his first fish. He was very proud of himself so I was happy to share that.

And then I was talking about how my older son, Luke Kevin, my brother’s name is Kevin, I was talking about how Luke is in his second year of welding in high school, and my brother used to do welding in his job, So I was sharing how in his first year, of course, kind of hard to do welding when you’re stuck at home during COVID But when he got to go back for the last month of school he got to do some welding. He came home one day and showed me, what to me just looked like a big chunk of metal, But he was showing me this join that he welded to affix the two pieces together and the teacher said he did the best welding job in the class, So it was nice to share that.

Later after talking to my brother, because I hadn’t talked to him in a while, it really got me thinking about how Our relationships are simply our thoughts about another person. Can you think of a relationship that you’re in right now and What are some of the thoughts you’re having about that person? You could have some thoughts like, I feel really happy when I’m around that person, I laugh a lot when I’m with that certain friend or I just feel connected whenever I spend time with that friend. Maybe with some people you notice how you don’t feel so comfortable in their presence, what are you telling yourself in those situations? Because how we feel is created by what we’re thinking. You can tell yourself I want them to show up as they are because I know that I can handle my thoughts around whatever they say or do. That is my job and has nothing to do with them.

If we choose to show up and let others be who they are and when you start to let go of the idea of control you have so much more energy. You start to realize how much energy you are wasting trying to get others to behave in a way that makes you happy. You just work on your own thoughts and you feel happy, You don’t have to change them at all. There’s nothing better than being with someone who just loves you for who you are and isn’t always trying to make you be a different version of yourself.

Relationships are also not measured by how often you interact with someone. You could be talking to them every day or week, it could be months or even years in between or that relationship could even be with someone who’s passed away but you still get to choose the thoughts you’re thinking and how those thoughts make you feel.

I had mentioned earlier when I talk to my brother, I do all the talking, And that’s because my brother passed away 22 years ago, so he never got to meet any of his nephews, but I still get to have the perfect, exactly how it was meant to be, relationship with him and share all of these details about the family and connect with him whether he’s physically here or not And that’s what makes relationships so special since we get to decide what we want to think and in turn how we feel about that person.

If you would like to dig deeper into your relationships I would love to help facilitate that for you and the relationship you have with yourself is definitely worth peeking behind that curtain. Please feel free to reach out.