Thoughts on Being Versus Doing
Posted on September 13, 2021 by Max Klau, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
This article presents a brief story that illuminates the difference between thinking about "how you are being" versus "what you are doing."
In both my leadership development and my coaching work, I focus on cultivating intentional ways of being. In a world that so consistently values achievement, impact, and outcomes, I encounter many students and clients who simply don’t understand what it means to think about how they are being rather than what they are doing. An experience I had several years ago has proven helpful in illuminating the concept in a vivid way.
A foundational tool in my work is inviting individuals to craft their own personal leadership mission statement. I believe that connecting with and articulating one’s deepest sense of purpose in this way is an essential early step in any journey of personal growth, and my work often begins there. Significantly, my instructions for crafting this personal leadership mission include a requirement that individuals think about how they want to be—not what they want to do—as leaders. I make it clear that goals, outcomes and achievements are important, but this mission is meant to complement those things, not highlight them.
Several years ago, I was invited to run a leadership development session at a prestigious business school. As usual, I invited the participants to craft their personal mission statements, and gave them four minutes to work on a first draft. When the writing time was up, I asked the class to discuss how they experienced the exercise. Immediately, one student’s hand shot up with great enthusiasm.
“I want to share my mission statement!”, he exclaimed.
This was a bit unusual. We typically spend a few minutes talking about how it felt to craft these statements, whether it was easy or challenging, and whether it was unexplored terrain or something individuals have thought a lot about. In my experience, having someone request to share their mission with this immediacy and energy is not the norm.
I invited him to go ahead, and his statement was as clear and concise is could be:
“My mission is to be a billionaire by the time I’m 40!”, he said with utter confidence.
The class laughed a bit, responding—I suspect— to the blend of simplicity and audacity captured that incredibly brief and bold statement.
I let him know that I appreciated his clarity and enthusiasm, but also told him that he had missed the essence of the exercise.
“That’s a crystal clear goal,” I said. “But how are you going to be as you walk the path towards that outcome? Are you going to be known by everyone you encounter as a compassionate leader, amazing mentor, and deep listener who empowered others and left everyone you met feeling seen, heard, and appreciated? Or are you going to be known as a world-class jerk who manipulated and bullied everyone you met, leaving a trail of human wreckage along the path to your goal? It’s important to have a goal, but your mission statement needs to speak to how you want to be as you walk the path towards your desired outcome.”
The student had no immediate response to this comment, and it was clear he was going to have to do some more—and very different—reflection to honor the spirit of this exercise.
How do YOU want to be as you walk your path towards achieving your goals? And do you live with integrity to those aspirations for yourself on a daily basis? Exploring this question of how you are being rather than what you are doing with courage and clarity opens a doorway to a powerful journey of personal transformation.
