Five things that’d help you hold on when you feel you are losing all hope
Posted on September 07, 2021 by Rituparna Ghosh, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
It is only fair that when we have everything at our fingertips, living life should be easy. However, we still struggle to deal with our thoughts.
We are a generation of people who live with ease. With the advent of the internet, mobiles and other gadgets information and problem-solving is on our tips. Worried about an exam? Go online and search or ping your friend for their notes. Need the perfect look this summer? Head to Instagram. Want a new television? Buy it instantly. You get the drift.
So, it is only fair that when we have everything on our fingertips, living life should be easy. However, rather, unfortunately, our emotions, thoughts and insecurities have not received the memo and are still old school and we still struggle to know how to deal with them when we are overwhelmed. That feeling when you can’t research the crap (pardon my language) out of a problem, is not only yours. I am sure everyone in their life has felt at least once that they are losing all hope. The question is what to do when you feel it’s impossible to take even one step forward?
1) One day at a time – Planning gets everything to happen, but what it also does is overwhelms and makes you inflexible. Chasing the bigger picture, it is easy to overlook the small consistent steps that you are taking on a day-to-day basis! Do plan, but for a short period of time, a day, a week or even a few hours. Keeping your larger goal in mind, plan for one day. Divide your larger goal into small achievable milestones and note them down. Remember no goal can be achieved without starting work on it.
2) You’re probably not as alone as you feel – For every one person who judges you on your insecurities, there are at least two who are or have in past gone through the same problem. When I was struggling to have my child, I felt the whole world around me was a giant celebration of a baby shower. There were some terrible years spent in a silo, working through doctor visits, medications and countless questions, it was only when I started blogging, I realised how I was not the only one. So, if things are looking hopeless, confide in a trusted friend or a family member.
3) The worst-case scenario – Seems a bit counterintuitive, isn’t it? Like you are already depressed and then I’m asking you to imagine your worst fears coming true! But here is the difference. If you use your worst-case scenario as a deterrent or if you catastrophise it, then of course you’d get to a panic attack. Instead, use it as your strength, write it down based on the facts you have. Once you do, you’d find that the world won’t stop right there, you’d be hurt (probably a lot) but you’d be able to move on. Now with nothing to lose start to work backwards towards the steps you need to take to not land there. Once your brain has thought through the idea, it becomes easy to accept it, to look for different perspectives and to work towards changing it.
4) Self-love – There is no substitute for self-love period. Also, Self-love doesn’t mean a day at a fancy spa or something like that. What it means expecting the same kindness from yourself that you expect from others. It means finding the ability to forgive yourself for mistakes you make like you forgive others. If you don’t love yourself, then how can you expect anyone else to fall in love with you? More often than not people, friends, family mirror the boundaries that you have with yourself. If you don’t set your boundaries, then it’d be difficult to expect someone to understand when to be there for you and when to leave you alone.
5) Ask for help – Last but not least contrary to what you think, asking for help does not make you weak. Mental health is as important as physical one, if you want to lose weight won’t you get yourself a trainer? Similarly, if you are troubled why not seek professional help? There are people qualified to stop you from losing all hope. It means you’re brave enough to give yourself a fighting chance, to learn from things and move forward. There are counsellors, therapists, coaches anonymous helplines available – all you need to do is ask.
