Coaching The Inner Critic!
Posted on August 22, 2021 by Liz Green, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.
Have you ever been told that you need to silence or banish your inner critic?
What if I were to tell you that we need to befriend it!
Yes, I said coaching YOUR inner critic! Your inner critic is a part of you that is actually trying to protect you from feeling shame, fear, loneliness, abandonment, etc.
We often hear things like “get rid or it”, or “push it aside” or develop a stronger sense of self, and this will push it, or kick it aside. Harsh statements and lack of compassion for this part of us only sends this part to a place of shame, and its voice, bark or message, simply becomes louder and more extreme. The reality is, that we need to befriend, acknowledge, and realize that this part is a protector that was formed in childhood, to help us not feel shame, embarrassment, judgement, etc. This part is usually stuck in the past, and doesn’t realize that we have come a long way and do not benefit from the extreme messages and critiques.
Finally, when we actually listen to its fears and concerns, we give this thought/voice/part some context, and it usually will relax and step back, once it knows it is respected/heard.
It is almost like a sub personality. In addition, we also have other protector parts such as a controller, striver, judge, people pleaser, pessimist, planner, etc., that also contribute to the protection/defense “team”
This model was created by Richard Schwartz PHD, founder of Internal Family systems, which has become an evidence based modality now used by thousands of psychotherapists and practitioners to help restore balance in their client’s systems.
Your inner critic yearns to be heard, and understood. When we unravel and unpack the stories we hold around this, the critical part feel unburdened and can relax.
We are all capable of embracing our God given self qualities, and energy. Some of these strengths/qualities are confidence, creativity, connectedness, calmness, courage, clarity, curiosity, and compassion. When we work with, and listen to the parts of us that protect us, these parts relax ,and the fight/flight fears drastically reduce. Our true self energy feels stronger, and we ultimately feel more calm, confident and clear. We also have much more access to our childlike qualities which are often exiled with life challenges, hurt and trauma by our protective systems. We become more spontaneous, creative, playful, joyful and vulnerable.
We can connect to ourselves with more compassion and grace. We also automatically feel more connected and compassionate towards others.
So I invite you to work with me, to work with your inner critic and other protective parts.
LIZ GREEN IS TRAINED IN THE INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS MODEL.
