Why I've Cut Out the Word "Should" From My Vocabulary
Posted on August 20, 2021 by Simone Topel, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
How many times a day do you use the word "should"?
How often do you hear people say ‘I really should do x’ or ‘I know I should but…’?
It can be super subtle, but when we say that we ‘should’ do something, it’s often connected with the feeling that what we are doing now (or what we’ve done so far) is not good enough.
We might feel guilty that we aren’t doing the thing that we ‘should’ do, and we really believe that if we did that thing, we would be a better person/employee/friend/partner/etc. If we find ourselves frequently in the ‘should’ mentality, we are probably feeling dissatisfied, like we are failing, and aren’t good enough.
What do you think?
I’ve been actively trying to remove the word from my vocabulary because I no longer find it productive. Instead, I like Dr. Edith Eger’s suggestion to replace this ‘language of fear’ with other options like: I want. I’m willing. I choose. When you genuinely want to, not just because you think you should.