Lessons From Tango Dancing

Posted on August 05, 2021 by Sonia Elhaj, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

In tango dancing:

The masculine leads.
The feminine follows.

Many modern women get triggered by this. They assume that this means:

The masculine is strong and the feminine is weak….
My queens, this can’t be further from the truth.

The Feminine = radiance and attraction; a light that attracts, envelops, mesmerizes, and magnetizes. The feminine is POWERFUL (in – energy)
The Masculine = focus and pursuit; achievement, winning, fixing, overcoming (out – energy) – this is what attracts us, women, to men!! It is their physical strength and ability to get things done, provide and support.

I was an avid tango dancer a few years ago… I have recently come across a shot of me dancing with a very very respectful and wonderful man (who we call in the relationship coaching world: a high-value man). This moment and this embrace can really help you understand the symbiotic, beautiful, and natural relationship between the feminine and the masculine.

In the arms of the masculine, and while the ‘male’ leads the dance, takes care of the mechanics, steps, tempo, holds the ‘women’ if she slips, and decides the next move – the feminine has space to EXPRESS, RECEIVE and CREATE.

The female dancer in Argentine Tango (as I learned it) beautifies the dance with adornments, and so her part is as important as the lead’s.

In TRUSTING the masculine and allowing ‘him’ to DO, plan, perform, act and problem solve, the woman has full FREEDOM to be authentic, confident to BE in her full authenticity.

When the female dancer (the feminine) is too busy pushing, leading, and mistrusting the male dancer (the masculine) in the relationship, she is no longer invested and anchored in her FEMININE SELF. She is lost. What happens and I have seen this on the dance floor and in relationships so many times: both partners get frustrated, the masculine feels smothered, disrespected, and eventually pulls back and leaves the dance.

This is what happens in dating, many relationships, and marriages. The woman steps out of her feminine space and steps on the man’s space, overworks, tries to control him, and ends up rejected.

In your dating, romantic relationship, and marriage, my love, you need to learn the feminine-masculine dance in order for you to become the Queen of your Queendom.

The problem with many teachings these days is that they help you understand and embody the feminine, but they fail to highlight the following:

1. We, women, are not only supposed to be in feminine – we also show up in masculine when we work, achieve, build careers, businesses, and take care of others
2. We need to create a better balance through healthy relationship dynamics in our personal relationships
3. This polarity and integration between feminine and masculine energies are also INTERNAL (not only found in relationships between men and women)

What about you, my Queen, how would it feel to relinquish control and receive more effortlessly whatever your heart desires?