What if I fail?
Posted on June 22, 2021 by Rajesh Khemraj, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
Self doubt is probably the worse enemy of anyone. Am I good enough?
My son asked me yesterday, “Dad what are you going to do if your business does not work?” He is only nine and does not have any bad intentions with the question but it struck a nerve with me. I told him that I have not thought about that and he immediately questioned “Never?” I regressed and let him know in the decision process there was some doubt or negative energy that was blurring my vision.
I then asked him, “What do you think is the most common reason people have when they do not follow their dreams?” His answer was money. I went on to share my thoughts with him.
Self-doubt is probably the worse enemy of anyone. Am I good enough? Can I do it? What will they think? Will they like me? What if I don’t know the answer? I don’t want to look dumb. I will never be as good as they are.
All of these thoughts have gone through my mind one time or another progressing through my career and education. I would always meet students that could answer quicker, or always seemed to have the right answer. It would change me. I would lose confidence and become unsure of my thoughts and beliefs about the topic. I would not speak out because I doubted my abilities. Luckily, I spoke to other students about my struggles and a funny revelation happened. They were feeling the same way. They thought I knew more than them and that they were barely hanging with the class.
The unknown. The unknown was the driver of our fears and self-doubt. As a student, it is ok to not know it all or even understand the majority of the information that is presented to you. You are a student and just showing up is huge. Know that even if another student seems amazing and that they know it all, they are probably having some of the same insecurities as you are but they have overcome them by being vulnerable and taking the risk of raising their hand and asking the important questions no one else is willing to ask.
The greatest pearl that I got from NAIOMT courses is hearing these brilliant instructors say, “I don’t know”. Initially, you are wondering how that could happen. I thought they are supposed to have all the answers, but they can be vulnerable enough in front of an audience and say I don’t know. That was amazing to me. Even more so, it did not bother them. Usually, they did not know but they had some ideas of what they could do to try to figure out the problem. As students we usually let that uncertainty take over and the innovative process stops there.
Suggestions:
Get used to being wrong, or more so redefine what that means to you. Being able to recognize that you are wrong allows you to leave the path you are on and start taking another. In other words, it speeds up the process.
Enjoy the learning process no matter how painful it is
Ask questions, there is knowledge all around you all you have to do is access it
Get Mentorship! Be a mentor. Start local study groups. Be passionate about what you do and everything will tend to land where it should.
