Towards Self-Awareness: From a Full Mind to being Mindful.
Posted on May 23, 2021 by Lakki Nair, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Mindfulness starts with Self-Awareness. Here are 5 techniques that can easily be integrated into our day to help us be present, here and now.
Self-awareness, mindfulness, etc. are buzz words that are rampant in today’s world. Most of us have our go-to meditation or mindfulness practices to assist in becoming more aware or simply to get ourselves grounded for a hectic day. However, very often we struggle with our monkey minds that keep jumping topics and getting distracted at the drop of a hat! There is so much buzz in there – deep reflection at times and at others, chaos. And it does not even warn us while in the middle of visualising a future event, that it is going to shift and get stuck in some past memory!
As a coach, an essential skill is to create awareness and enable a shift in thinking for the client. Being present in the moment is critical. The icing in this journey, however, is that along with being present for the client, it has helped accentuate an awareness of my own self. I share with you some techniques my clients and I have experienced and found useful.
PAUSING AND OBSERVING
Through the day amidst the flurry of activities, I try to pause occasionally. And just observe – either the thoughts within my head; or the activity around me or in nature. It helps me experience new things I have not noticed before. I recollect spending time with my bed-ridden dad during his last days some years back, and noticing his eyes sparkle at the smallest things – the curtains blowing in the wind or a bird flying past the window. The smile at the edge of his lips always brought a smile on mine too. Along with it, the realisation that he never took the luxury of pausing – he was one busy-bee working hard and non-stop. Those few precious moments ended up also being life-lessons for me. Now-a-days I schedule my watch to nudge me every other hour – not just to get up and stretch, but also to stop and observe for 2 full minutes anything from my breathing, to feeling alive, to the chatter in my head. Judd Krishnamurthy’s quote comes to mind here: “the highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe ourselves without judging.”
BREAKING THE ROUTINE
Ever found yourself going about your routine and suddenly stopping to wonder what you were doing 10 minutes back? I have had instances of getting into my car and driving all the way home instead of taking a different route to a client’s office. I have often wondered what would help break this auto-pilot mode when required. Something that helps me now is to consciously break a small part of my routine whenever I need to be more conscious of what I do. For example, driving with my right hand instead of left, or playing a particular piece of music that I do not normally listen to. These somehow do not allow my brain to relax completely and get lost in a myriad of thoughts. I also try to visualise the route, stepping out of the car and entering the grocer’s or client’s when I start the drive. This has gone a long way in helping me be more present and be on track.
FORMULATING NEW HABITS
The autopilot is inadvertently on, the moment we wake up, ready to take over whenever we are in the middle of a routine. Changing or formulating some new habits can disengage the auto-mode and help us become more present. For example, I find brushing my teeth with the hand I do not normally use, allows me to slow down, be more focussed and observe myself in the moment. The bonus is that since it is a new skill, there is the thrill of seeing ourselves improve as days go by. So, what happens when this also becomes a habit, you ask? One can try alternating hands or introducing some simple eye or neck exercises standing in front of that mirror. The possibilities are many! The intent is to ensure there is some thought put in while in the middle of various daily routines. These 5 to 10 minutes brushing is one of my first encounters with myself every morning and I now use it to gauge how I feel and reset myself to face the world.
SLOWING DOWN IN ACTION
In a mindfulness programme I participated in once, one of the techniques introduced was to slow down and notice while we do various activities – like walking, breathing, cooking, or drinking. One such activity that stayed with me is mindful eating – slowing down enough to taste every bit of that mouthful of food; chewing slowly and mindfully observing the sensations and taste; becoming aware of the side of mouth the food is in; and experiencing the food as it goes down to the stomach. There is now a much deeper respect and recognition of the flavours whenever I do this and the quantity of food I intake is also less as I feel satiated quicker. How empowered would we be if we are able to slow ourselves down just enough to notice the way we feel; and the way our body responds to external stimuli? On busy days I attempt the slowing down process at least twice during the week.
CHANGING THE NARRATIVE
Part of being self-aware is to be in touch with our emotions and identifying when they are not serving us. I recently walked into my living room that looked like a war zone after my foster pup had playfully emptied all the soil from the indoor plants to the floor and rug. My first reaction was of frustration, and shock, combined with a feeling of self-pity. Thankfully, the moment I realised how I was feeling, I changed the narrative in my head to it being neither my fault nor hers and thinking of strategies on how best I can avoid this in future, and how to try and save the plant. This shift from a space of overwhelm to a state of resourcefulness, helped bolster me into action rather than be stuck making a fuss! It is important that we identify emotions that cripple us in that moment and mindfully ask ourselves some questions to change our perspective that might be limiting us.
The line between observation and drifting into another world is often so thin that one would hardly realise the shift. But reality is that though thoughts are intermittent; we keep feeding them and allowing them to take over! With practice we can become more in control of how we experience ourselves in the moment. Taking conscious steps and working on being more present not only can improve relationships, but also our effectiveness at work and home. It is time to become more empowered through self-awareness and get in touch with ourselves at a deeper level!
