Why to praise someone?
Posted on May 22, 2021 by Shuja Ch, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
The art of the compliment is not only a powerful social skill; it is one of the most fundamental.
To praise others for something good about them, or to criticize for their
shortcomings are some common expressions. However, the both expressions are commonly understood, one of them is not very commonly found in our culture.
Our media, culture and society often teach us to focus more on what is wrong, what is lacking in people and society, than to be aware of what is good and positive.
Mark Twain famously said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
How does it feel when someone praises your accomplishments? Do you suddenly feel inspired, sharp and ready to take on new challenges? Compliments are one of the most extraordinary art of good social life. If given right, they create so much positive energy that they make things
happen almost as if by magic. They ease the atmosphere around two people and create wonders in strengthening the relationships, both at home and in work relationships.
Science shows that there are many psychological effects of praise. Used correctly, praise can boost self-esteem, increase performance and supercharge productivity. Used incorrectly or not at all, it can damage the personalities, weaken the relationships, demoralize people and can turn most high-powered team ineffective.
In our families, everyone, including spouses, extended family, colleagues, customers, and
even your boss, loves to get sincere recognition and praise for a job well done. When we hear something we like, dopamine is released in our brains — the chemical associated with feelings of joy, pride, satisfaction and well-being.
When you praise someone sincerely, it leads to a physiological desire to recreate that feeling. In the simplest terms, that is why praising someone cements good behavior and work habits.
A side benefit is that, when you learn to enjoy praising others, you experience that same chemical reward. By doing something good for someone else, you also feel good.
Consistent with the law of reciprocity, others are often willing to return that feeling of goodwill by lending a hand or sharing useful information.
Compliments derive from taking notice of praiseworthy situations and efforts. So they are a mark of awareness and consciousness. We need to cultivate awareness of the good developments that are all around us.
Once praiseworthy situations are noticed, the awareness needs to be spoken. In other words, the compliment needs to be put forth into the world in spoken form.
To harness the habit of praising others, keep a notice of the following ideas.
1 — Give praise often.
The best way to avoid feeling uncomfortable praising someone is to do it until it feels natural. The aim is to build a healthy habit of praise.
Regardless of personality type, you can learn to observe those around you and actively look for praise-worthy things.
2 — Give praise immediately.
It is important to praise others as they earn it. Resist the urge to wait until the “time is right.”
The moment of achievement is always the right time, because it helps the recipient quickly assess the things that are important to you. Immediate praise also feels most authentic.
3 — Praise publicly. Correct privately.
If you are not comfortable receiving praise publicly, your natural inclination may be to reserve praise for private settings or one-on-one. But, public praise is most often most impactful.
If you are in a meeting, praise the person while others are present. If you are interacting through email, copy relevant peers and superiors when you send a praise email.
4 — Be sincere.
Always be genuine and sincere when praising somebody. People can smell fakeness from a mile.
It means more to the recipient when they recognize it as praiseworthy. Learn to watch for key moments. Make a note. Then, look for an opportunity to express it.
5 — Be specific.
Not all compliments are created equal. Saying “Nice job!” or “Well done!” is better than no praise at all. But, being specific adds impact.
6 — Check your but.
Have you ever been the recipient of a message along the lines of, “Thank you for responding so quickly, but…”
Praise should not be the buffer to ease a request for more work or to soften a critique. Let your praise stand alone.
When praise is followed by criticism, it nullifies the previously mentioned dopamine pleasure response and counteracts your intended outcome.
The art of the compliment is not only a powerful social skill; it is one of the most fundamental.
You don’t need to be an expert to do it well. You just need to be genuine and aware to notice something positive happening around you
I wish you lot of praise receiving and giving in your life,
