5 Steps to Achieve Clarity and Reach Your Goals

Posted on May 19, 2021 by Sabah Alansari, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.

There are a lot of reasons people fail to achieve their goals, but the number one reason is that they lack clarity.

When we lack clarity, we feel stuck. Yet, most of us spend far more time thinking about the food we eat, the clothes we wear, and what we’ll do with our free time, than we do thinking about what matters most when it comes to our overall happiness and personal fulfillment. We spend time chasing instant gratification instead of striving for clarity of purpose and a truly joyous, purpose-driven life.

I can hear the objections already… “But I routinely set goals!” “I just lost 20 pounds” or “I just got a new job” or “I’m planning an exotic vacation.” While this is all well and good, this kind of goal-setting revolves around identifying things we want or would like to do. Unfortunately, these types of goals often have little to nothing to do with who we really are and what we value most in our relationships and in our lives.

The key to living a joyous, purpose-driven life is to discover your purpose and live it… to make sure that the goals you’re working towards are in alignment with your true purpose and core values.

What if you don’t know what your purpose is?

Don’t worry, you’re far from alone… and that’s precisely what creating clarity is all about!

While each and every one of us possesses a unique gift or purpose, far too many of us have had that purpose buried deep within us over the course of time by our relationship experiences, life events, and that voice in our heads that is always ready to doubt our abilities.

Fortunately, if you’re willing to intentionally ask yourself the right questions, truly listen to the answers, and do a little digging (okay, sometimes a lot of digging), you are more than capable of achieving clarity of purpose and setting and achieving goals that are truly meaningful to you… goals that bring you happiness and joy not just today or tomorrow, but for years to come.

Are you ready to get started?

Great!

However, before we dive in, let’s be clear about…

What Clarity Is and Why It’s So Important

A lot of coaching clients come to me feeling like they’re living life in a fog, or they can’t stop jumping from one thing to the next without any clear direction, which ironically, still leaves them feeling stuck.

This is the opposite of having mental clarity, which I define as simply being clear about what you’re doing and why.

When we have mental clarity, we take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, and are empowered to make the right decisions.

Achieving mental clarity can help you:

• Understand your strengths and improve upon your weaknesses;
• Reduce confusion and frustration;
• Minimize self-doubt and increase self-confidence;
• Create more energy and focus;
• Make better decisions faster; and
• Set, plan, and achieve your goals.

Perhaps most importantly of all, mental clarity is absolutely necessary when it comes to identifying what we value most in our relationships and our lives.

While the ultimate goal is to understand your true purpose in life, finding your purpose often begins by gaining clarity in one area of life and then moving on to the next.

For example, clients of mine often come to me seeking clarity about their family relationships or their health, and then move forward from there and gain greater clarity about their career and their life path as a whole.

Where you decide to start is entirely up to you… the important thing is to get started!

How Can You Achieve Clarity?

Before we get into some specific steps you can take to achieve clarity, it’s worth noting that clarity in and of itself isn’t the end goal. In fact, clarity itself can be problematic.

Many of us end up getting stuck because we choose the clearest path in front of us… what many refer to as the path of least resistance. However, just because a path is clear doesn’t make it RIGHT. As Stephen Covey once noted, “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.”

So, the goal isn’t to make sure the path is clear, it’s to get clear about the right path!

This is why the first step in achieving clarity is…

Step 1: Asking Yourself the Right Questions and Truly Listening to Your Own Answers

What is your purpose? What is it that you really want achieve? Why? That last one may well be the most important, as “Why?” is the question most likely to lead you to what matters most and your true purpose.

For example, if I ask a client why they’re interested in life coaching, they may say because they’re struggling with their alcoholic or addicted child.

If I ask why they’re struggling, they may well say that they’ve tried everything they can think of to help change their daughter’s or son’s destructive behavior and nothing seems to work.

If I then ask why they’re trying to change their daughter’s or son’s behavior and not their own, they’ll likely say that their daughter or son is the one with the problem.

To which I might ask if their child is the one with the problem, then why are they the one who needs and is looking for help?

It took four “Whys?” to get to the heart of the matter… in this case that the parent has as much of a problem as the alcoholic or addicted child.

This may not seem like a big deal, but it’s a huge realization and admission for most parents in that situation.

All of this is to say that you should make a habit of asking yourself this series of “Why?” questions.

As another example…

Why does someone want to lose weight?

A lot of people would immediately answer, “to look great!”

But then the next why is, “Why do you want to look great?”

To which many people might answer, “to meet the right man/woman.”

And if we ask why again… “Why do you want to meet the right man/woman?” someone may well say, “to find someone I can share my life with.”

Now we’re getting somewhere!

The goal isn’t just to lose weight. The goal is to have a meaningful relationship. And if that’s the true goal, we can then evaluate whether or not losing weight is the best way to go about.

Always keep in mind that your answer to the first why you ask yourself is almost never the real reason you want something… and if you’re evaluating options or searching for your true purpose, you must figure out the why.

Once you know the what and the why, then and only then should you figure out the how, which is where goal setting comes into play.

Step 2: Plan Your Goals and Take Consistent Action

Once you know what you want to achieve and why, it’s time to put a concrete plan in place for achieving it. This includes the “when” and “how” (i.e., when you’ll achieve this goal, and then working backwards and deciding what you need to do each step of the way).

You should definitely write all of this down and put it somewhere visible to yourself and others to help keep you accountable.

Remember, while knowing your “why” will help you overcome the obstacles you’ll inevitably face, we need to take consistent action if we want to achieve anything meaningful in our lives!

Step 3. Self-Reflection and Awareness

While the first two steps will help you get clear and achieve goals in specific areas of your life, to start getting clear about who you really are and what you want most in your relationships and in your life, you need to make time for self-reflection and awareness.

Ask yourself what you feel unclear about in your life and write down the answers. Then ask yourself what information you need to get clear about these things.

You should also practice listening to your body… Our bodies are great at telling us when we’re relaxed and in “our element” and when we’re anxious.

Make time each week to simply sit, practice one or more mindfulness exercises, or meditate. While this can be uncomfortable for some people (at least initially), it’s when our minds are truly calm that our intuition and creativity come to the fore. Your deepest insights and best ideas will more than likely come when your mind isn’t preoccupied with any other thoughts.

Step 4: Take Care of Your Mind, Body, and Spirit

We’ve already discussed the benefits of mindfulness and meditation, but exercise, a healthy diet, getting enough relaxation and sleep, and nurturing your soul are all just as important to achieving and maintaining clarity. I know it may sound a bit cliché, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

If you’re going to make yourself a priority, you need to make sure your consistent with that goal in all areas of your life!

Personally, I value yoga and qigong, as both help me not only stay healthy and in shape, but also provide me time for that all-so-important awareness and self-reflection we’ve already discussed.

Step 5: Rinse and Repeat

While it’s probably obvious, the four steps above don’t represent a linear, step-by-step path that you take once and then “arrive” at your destination.

As you gain clarity in one area of your life, you’ll more than likely discover other areas you can apply this same process to.

You’ll also need to keep asking yourself tough questions, setting goals and taking action to achieve them, as well as remaining self-aware and taking care of yourself along the way. New obstacles and possibilities will always come up, and this process is one you can use to remain calm, focused, and clear whenever they do.

When all is said and done, understanding and knowing how to achieve clarity is one of the most rewarding skills and experiences you can have, and one that will come in handy time and time again.

And if you ever find you need some extra assistance, please don’t hesitate to contact me and let me know how I can help you become one of the fortunate few who actually knows how to achieve clarity, reach meaningful goals, and is living a joyous, purpose-filled life!