Helping your child to restore a sense of calm, connection and contentedness.
Posted on March 30, 2021 by Lynette Tipper, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
How can we support our children to transform these times of uncertainty into an empowering, resilience-building experience?
1) Recognise that ‘out of adversity comes opportunity’.
Optimism and resiliency go hand in hand and now is an excellent opportunity to model and teach our children a crucial concept; that human beings can choose how we respond to things we CAN’T control in life, and focus on things we CAN control. Every child is different, and some children, especially younger ones, might need further explanation on this. A simple way to explain this is by asking your child to close their eyes and imagine the colour GREEN. Then ask them to imagine the colour YELLOW. You can say, “It looks like you were able to direct your mind to imagine the colour you wanted. Was it easy for you to do that?” Now ask them to close their eyes again and imagine a CIRCLE, then a SQUARE, then a TRIANGLE etc. Draw attention to the child’s ability to direct their mind and their ability to focus on the desired object or thought, which undoubtedly gets easier with practice.
2) All we need is LOVE.
Our basic needs were shaken over the past year, and now more than ever, it’s essential to acknowledge challenging behaviour as a young person’s way of expressing an unmet need. By responding to your child’s challenging behaviour with L.O.V.E (Listen, Observe, Validate & Empathise), parents quickly diffuse arguments and strengthen connection, allowing children to become better equipped to share that love with the world.
3) Prioritise family wellbeing and stress management
Fear and even anxiety are common responses many of us have felt during the past year. Understanding anxiety as our brain’s or body’s response to stress, recognising possible triggers and developing strategies to support our wellbeing, are ways parents can turn increased awareness into an advantage for the whole family in challenging times. Practising self-compassion, relaxation and mindfulness techniques reduces the physical and mental effects of stress. For example, breathwork, grounding, stretching/yoga and meditation are all excellent ways for calming the mind and enabling the body to relax.
4) Rev-up resilience levels by getting comfortable with discomfort!
Dealing with discomfort is a life skill and the most effective way to teach our children about resiliency is to model it. As parents, we must resist the urge to fix things and lean into our own discomfort of seeing our kiddos feeling uncomfortable. I once read somewhere that if we want a child’s mind to grow, we must first plant seeds, so if you want to support your child, ask probing questions that guide them to finding a solution. When we do so, we enable young people to confront uncertainty and solve problems independently.
5) Focus on support & guidance
We are their first teachers, so have faith that you know your child best and lean into active listening to gain a clearer perspective of their needs.
Lynette Tipper, Master Coach, NLP Kids Practitioner and founder of COCOON.
Delighted to be a contributor on the LiveHealthy.ae expert panel.
