Resistance to change
Posted on March 03, 2021 by Roxana Borcsa, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
How do you feel about change? Are you the type of person who actively seeks it out? Or do you often find yourself resisting change?
I had a conversation a few days ago with a good friend ,and among other things she said that change is not for her because she feels so happy with life the way it is ,and not sure she wants to have her life different. So for her change is not for improvement. She did also a few exercises like from the personal development evaluation tools and she decided ,that for her change, will be for the worst not for the best. I was very surprised, I know she is a balanced person in general but isn`t this balance just the right place to start improving? when you are balanced and feel nice and have many good things in your life you are blessed and of course you should be grateful for, and in the same time you are in a position to ask for more and to achieve many new goals, and isn`t that change? do you need something bad to happen in your life to start from that point?
Is it easier to change when you have nothing to lose? Is the desire to change for the best, stronger when you are experiencing an unbalanced life?
Fear of Change and getting hurt.
Resistance to change usually comes down to one thing: fear. Specifically, fear of the unknown.
It’s not only the “negative” changes we fear, even the most energizing ones, the ones we seek out and initiate ourselves are sometimes hard to lean into because it brings a rollercoaster of emotion –from fear to anxiety.
Change is meant to bring something different, but does it scare us? We are creatures of habit. We need our routine, we like our comfort zone.
Change is resisted because it can hurt. Transformation, especially when it’s from the top down, can make people feel uncomfortable. Some people may feel betrayed. Others may simply be scared by the new way that changes may bring.
Decisions imposed on people quickly, with no time to get used to the idea or to mentally prepare for the consequences, are generally resisted. It’s always easier to say No first than to say yes. No because you are afraid of losing something you already have and fought for it. Can we instead think that we may gain something?
The Smarter the Person, the Greater the Need for Coaching.
Smart people are the best rationalizers. They justify their thinking, decisions, and actions with little scrutiny, especially if challenged. Telling smart people they have to change is usually a waste of time. Instead, reflecting their words and the emotions they express is the only way to get smart people to question their thoughts, shift their perspective, and try out new actions. Coaching makes them stop and think in a way they resist doing for themselves.
. People fear being different-especially when there’s no precedent in that situation
We’re creatures of habit: good or bad, and we love routine.
- People know change brings a new possibilities and also new problems
Many people prefer for things to stay the way they are than for it to head off into a direction that is unknown. By instinct, we know that a new way presents both possibilities and problems. But most would rather ignore the possibilities if it also means avoiding the problems.
In my experience of working with people for 20 years and from my personal interactions, people who can adapt to almost any change are those who know how to live in the moment but keeping an eye to the future, being open minded and seeking opportunities even where apparently there is none. And aligning the transformations with their values.
Having our attention now, for a moment, on more recent events that occurred only last year with coronavirus. How many of us in the mist of the pandemic situation from last year were able to change immediately and to obey the lockdown? Did most of us embrace the change like an opportunity to look inside ourselves, to grow, to read a book, to improve the relationship with close family? Or did we just waited for lockdown to be over and get back to our old life and habits? I know the answer to that, I coached people regarding this subject, and the difference between those who turned to coaching and the others who didn’t t was that first ones wanted to improve and not waste that time , that precious moment knowing that when lockdown will be over they will not be the same, they will be better!
Motivation to embrace transformation varies from person to person, from one situation to another, and is made over time. Some of us are so unwilling, others are unable to change, and many are not fully ready yet.
Change Ensures that Life Remains Interesting. At least for me….what about you?
How do you feel about change? Do you resist or embrace it? What type of resistance do you encounter when you’re not ready for change?
