What would you ask for if the answer would only be yes?
Posted on February 24, 2021 by Alexandra Trusca, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.
While we learn good rules of how to walk through this life, we also learn some “rules” about sabotaging our potential.
The other day I was watching some videos with my almost two-year-old niece. She has contagious laughter from morning until dawn. She is always on the move. One moment she is in the middle of a huge pile of toys, and the very next second, she is “escalating” the stairway. She tries, and she fails, but she is stubborn enough to try again until she achieves whatever she wants. She doesn’t understand the meaning of all the words, yet and for her, “you are not allowed” or “you shouldn’t do this” have no sense. My brother is scared to death whenever he finds her on top of a high piece of furniture, but she is all smiling, looking at him with that happy face of “Look, Dad, I’m on top of the world!” And for that second, she is not only on top of the piece of furniture, but she is also on top of her best self yet, discovering the world, pushing her limits, and doing something new.
While reading these lines, did you imagine a child you know exploring his/her environment fearlessly? Good! I can almost see a tiny smile on your face. But, how many of you felt a little bit uncomfortable by thinking that the toddler can fall from that piece of furniture and hurt herself? I bet you are quite a few.
Looking at my niece and analyzing every step she takes to transform herself from a helpless baby into a little girl led me to think about our adult lives with fears, anxieties, frustrations, and limitations.
One thing is for sure. When we are born, we are as free as we can be, we are limitless, we know nothing about the world, and we dare to learn everything about being alive. And, somewhere along this road called life, we learn about limits. Our parents or families and later, our teachers and friends taught us about a short word with a significant impact in our lives forever; the word: “NO!” Some other words might accompany it, but in the end, it’s this word, the one that breaks our wings.
Yes, of course, sometimes limits are reasonable, and of course, we have to obey some rules. Some of them are made to protect us, while others are meant to help us fit in society and belong to a group. Unfortunately, while we learn good rules of how to walk through this life, we also learn some “rules” about sabotaging our potential. We learn about how taking risks can have consequences, and often this is enough for us not to try anymore.
As a psychologist and a life coach, I trained my mind to see patterns and blocks along the way. Sometimes I see them in myself, sometimes in my clients or my friends and family.
I’ve met a few guys, smart and handsome and everything in between, who never dared to ask out the girl of their dreams. I can still hear one of them saying: “she’s out of my league”. Ok, I admit, she might be, but you already lost this imaginary battle if you never try. Maybe she isn’t that perfect at all, or she might perhaps be the woman to grow old with, waiting for someone like you, but if you never try, you’ll never know.
Another example that crosses my mind right now is a client who worked for the same company for seven years. Her boss was very rude to her. He would call her day and night to give her different jobs. She barely had holidays, with her laptop next to the Christmas dinner. She hated her job and her boss, but she was too afraid to look for another job. Her excuse was that at least this job is secure, as she knows she won’t get fired because her boss needed her for all the horrible tasks.
A friend of mine had a minor car accident in a gas station a week after taking her driver’s license. That was the last time she ever drove, and this happened over 15 years ago. She saw her beginner’s mistake as a colossal failure, and ever since then, she says, “I am not meant to be a driver.”
This list can be infinite if we count all the limitations each of us has, but the reason for this article isn’t to point out blocks. It is rather about acknowledging them. It is about knowing and accepting our flaws and finding solutions to overcome them.
I recently read something beautiful about how a bee’s body isn’t aerodynamically made to fly. Lucky bees don’t know physics, so they fly.
Precisely like the bees, my niece, or any other toddler on Earth, our younger selves were also flying through their dreams of conquering the world, without fears or limitations. Back then, we found blocks along the way, but we kept on moving.
My question for you today is: “What keeps you from moving?” I am sure you already found the answer within yourself, but if you don’t know how to reach that answer, I am here for you. I can be your guide on this journey of daring to ask for your biggest dreams. Together we can find solutions to always receive YES as an answer.
I can’t say it’s easy, but I can promise you it will be fun to be on the other side of your blocks!
