Love in the time of coronavirus

Posted on February 19, 2021 by Alexandra Trusca, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.

For some romantic dreamers, living a love like in the good old times, this pandemic seemed to have fulfilled their dreams. And some understood better the saying: “Be careful what you wish for.”

Love and relationships are a subject as old as time, and these present times have shown us that sometimes love is hard, and a pandemic can make the efforts look bigger.

Before this pandemic started, each of us was busy with life. Some of us were busy with a new business, some of us were busy with new babies, some of us with old jobs and new problems, some in life-long relationships meanwhile, some were just getting to know each other.

And then, all of a sudden, coronavirus came and put us on hold. It locked every one of us at home, by ourselves, with our unfulfilled dreams and new fears on top of old fears.

For those who were just getting to know each other, it came with an old-school love in an early stage of the relationship. The old letters were replaced by instant messaging, and new love birds replaced the old “looking for the postman to bring the letter from my love” with checking their phones every minute. These new couples had a chance to live their romance like they were characters in the well-known novel written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Some of them idealized their partner, some of them fell in love with the idea of love, while others were lucky enough to discover a great life companion at the other end of their modern “love letters.”

On the other side, there were mature couples. Either married for decades or months, with or without children, long-lasting couples got the chance to live these uncertain times with their partner. And this is how life became interesting in a new way for them.

The pandemic brought anxiety to our daily vocabulary and made us discover new emotions deep inside our souls. It made us fear for our lives and the lives of our loved ones. It made us mistrust the brightness of our future or the safety of our environment.

For a little while, or a little longer, this pandemic stopped everything. And there, inside their own homes, couples around the world started living differently. Partners started switching roles and some even learned or developed new skills. We became work colleagues, housekeepers, chefs, teachers, nannies, confidants, therapists, playing mates for our kids, and the list can go on for days. We wore various hats and, exactly like psychodrama, where subjects are switching positions and playing different roles, this new life revealed our deepest emotions. There’s only a little difference. In psychodrama, we get in and out of a role by shaking our body or changing our position. In real life, no one taught us that, and sometimes playing a role for too long can be frustrating and exhausting.

All in all, love in the time of coronavirus was difficult and changed our couples for good. Even though your relationship might be stronger at the end of this experience, both of you are changed, and sometimes these changes need support from our partners.

If this new way of living made you have new feelings about your partner, be gentle with yourself and your relationship. Do you feel you spent too much time together and need some time by yourself? That’s OK! Maybe sometimes you feel bored. That’s perfectly normal, again!

Yes, we are complex beings with complicated feelings; it’s normal to feel bored or annoyed by your partner at times, especially after a lengthy lockdown, with a lot of uncertainty around you. As long as there is love in your heart for your partner, you are in the right place.

Now, a year after the coronavirus invaded our lives, we can conclude: regardless if you are still together or not, the relationship you lived during this pandemic will be the most intense of your life. And if you’re still trying to find out if you’re in the right relationship or not, be patient with you and your partner and seek some outside guidance. At times, being in the middle of the storm might block you from asking the right questions for the answers you already have inside your heart.