The Barriers of Constraints
Posted on January 28, 2021 by Ann Franzese, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.
Limitations, negativity bias, perspectives, adaptability and character traits
We feel them all the time. Every day of our life we typically are in a situation where we feel limited even dismissed. Someone has pulled out in front of us while we are driving to the store. “How dare they cut me off?” Or your boss has added yet another deadline on your plate and you’re not quite sure how you will juggle the demands with more added hours squeezing into your private time.
These limitations also appear in the type of job we choose to work in and the type of companies we choose to work for. We set expectations based on our experiences. Often times our inability to look outside the box, keeps us inside the box!
A perfect example is that of a career in sales. Many would say that they could never work in sales, when in fact, selling is something we all do everyday. Taking a deeper dive into what a career in sales looks like, the day to day activities and responsibilities that can lead to success, one might be surprised!
The same applies to any career. Let’s consider teachers, lawyers and accountants. The broad term when expanded offers very different perspectives. A teacher of academics? Or science? Or law? A lawyer for children’s rights, divorce or real estate? Same with accountants, corporate or personal? A little curiosity and diving into what the job responsibilities entail can help one see the vision and visualize how the smallest and mundane of tasks are necessary to learn and grow in their field of choice verses viewing these as limitations.
Are you today, feeling dissatisfied, possibly rejected and just not fitting in, I’d like to welcome you to the club! In life we all experience these feelings even in relationships. In fact having a negative bias in life is a thing. The reason for this is that negative events have a greater impact on our brains than positive ones. This bias toward the negative leads us to pay much more attention to the bad things that happen, often times making them seem much more important than they really are. It is the “bad things” that grab our attention, stick to our memories, and, in many cases, influence the decisions that we make. The evolutionary perspective suggests that this propensity to dwell on the negative more than the positive is simply one way the brain works to keep us safe.
What does it mean in terms of what’s next for you? That depends on your perspective and level of openness to adaptation.
Yikes! Adaptation? Do you mean conforming? Changing? Stepping outside of who I am?
Not at all. Let’s start with the word adaptation and the definition.
According to OxfordLanguage, to adapt means: to make (something) suitable for a new use or purpose; modify.
When we can learn to shift our perspectives and lean into the problem solving we can avoid the feeling of the limitation or constraint of having to change and allow the doors of possibilities to open!
Consider the extra work the boss put on your lap. The work that’s going to bleed into your weekend fun time. Extra work comes up for various reasons and if this extra work shows up ‘occasionally’ and you lean into it, what is the benefit of the outcome? Happy boss, happy you for resolution. Win Win.
Let’s take that same situation, and change the ‘occasionally’ extra work to a ‘repeat pattern’ of every weekend that you are asked to carry an extra load. Over time, this pattern is not sustainable. Why? Maybe a happy boss, but an unhappy self. Win. Lose.
When constraints are pushed, in this instance “time”, we can feel confined or even taken advantage of. This builds layers of frustration that can even turn to anger. Ultimately, something has to give or the balloon will pop.
Whether you are the leader or the colleague, we each have a responsibility and roles to perform. The culture of an organization may feed on pushing their employees to their max and are comfortable with replacing employees. Something to look for when you find yourself in this situation.
Or it could be that you may have opened the door with your “can do” attitude and “people pleasing” style, allowing the added work patterns to build. In this scenario, introspection and conversations are necessary to bring better alignment of expectations and find a resolution to avoid burnout.
Ultimately, being able to shift perspectives and improve adaptability, especially in times of chaos, unknown and for growth of the company and the individuals, are great skills to add to your toolbox of character traits.
