#GetHappier: Develop Neural Pathways Associated with Happiness

Posted on January 26, 2021 by Vicki Eaton, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

People want many things. They want to be wealthy enough to have the freedom to buy what they desire. They want to be liked and for people to look up to them. They desire to have fun, exciting experiences in life. They would like to lose weight to feel more attractive. They believe these things will make them happy, so really, the true goal is happiness.

What does happiness mean to you?

Here are five myths about happiness: (1.) “I should be able to be happy all the time.” (Not a reasonable expectation. The reality is that life is truly hard sometimes, and bad things do happen even to good people.) (2.) “If I seek pleasure and avoid pain, I will be happy.” (We can’t avoid pain forever, really.) (3.) “If I am rich, smart, attractive, popular, or talented enough, I will be happy.” (There is always someone richer, smarter, more attractive, popular or talented.) (4.) “Some people are just born happy, or lucky enough to have a life that gives them happiness.” (It is true that some people are genetically predisposed to be happy, however, it doesn’t mean they are happy all the time, and it doesn’t mean you can’t be happier even if you do not have a genetic predisposition towards it. (5.) “Happiness is something that just happens. It’s just what life gives you or doesn’t give you.” (The truth is that it doesn’t just happen. There are many things we can do to help it happen).

Do any of these beliefs feel true to you?

A former professor at the University of Minnesota, Dr. David Lykken, did research on 1500 pairs of twins, and he came to the conclusion that 50% of happiness is due to genetics, and 50% is due to life circumstances and what happens to us. Later research broke it down even further. It still indicated that 50% of our happiness is connected to our genes, but only 10% is impacted by the circumstances in our lives, and 40% is affected by intentional activity we do in our every day, normal life. Essentially, what that means is that we have a lot of power to build our own happiness.

There are dozens of ways of doing that! In fact, I currently have 21 books specifically on happiness on my bookshelves. I couldn’t begin to even name, in this brief article, all the strategies described in them for how you can boost your level of happiness. (More on that in later articles). So, I’ll start with one strategy, and it’s that you can develop neural pathways in the brain associated with happiness. You can REWIRE YOUR BRAIN AND REPROGRAM YOUR MIND TO BE HAPPIER.

Your brain is amazing! It has the capacity to make tens of thousands of calculations in a second, and it is quicker than any super-computer on earth. The field of Neuroscience has helped us to know that the brain is moldable, bendable, that it has the ability to change its actual physical structure, to repair areas that may have been damaged, to grow new neurons and to get rid of old ones, to actually change brain circuitry. It’s called Neuroplasticity, and it means that the brain can continue to develop new neural pathways even into old age.

If you hold images in your mind about being happy and you repeat it over and over, you will develop new neural pathways in your brain associated with being happier. What else is cool, though, is that your unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between an intense imagery exercise and something that actually happened in real life. So once you have imagined something over and over (40-60 times), then it is in your unconscious mind, and then you will see even more benefits. In his book, TRAIN YOUR BRAIN TO GET HAPPY, Dr. Richard Davidson says, “Strengthening neural systems is not fundamentally different than strengthening certain muscle groups through physical exercise.” It sounds like we need to do a “work out” for our brains!

Again, there are many ways of doing this, but I’m only going to talk about three strategies that are simple and easy, and I believe you will be able to do them:

1. You can TAKE IN: In his book HARDWIRING HAPPINESS, Dr. Rick Hanson talks about intentionally having a positive experience in order to develop and expand neural pathways. It means taking a mindful approach to your day, noticing anything that is pleasant or beautiful or good, and then focusing on it 5-10 seconds so your brain has a chance to really absorb it. What kinds of things? Noticing the deliciousness of eating a fresh, ripe, summer-time peach from the Farmer’s Market for breakfast, or hearing the music of a Robin or a Mockingbird as you get into your car in the morning, or feeling the warm sun on your face, or feeling loved and welcomed when your dog greets you at the door. Doing this one time is not going to boost you to a 10 on the happiness scale, but doing it 5, 10 or 15 times a day, every day will have a cumulative effect, and you will soon notice that you feel happier more regularly. Dr. Hanson says that, “Each day is like a winding path strewn with pearls and diamonds, emeralds and rubies, each one an opportunity for a positive experience. Unfortunately, most people hurry by without noticing them, and even when they do see a jewel, they rarely feel anything about it.”

What jewels have you been missing? What will you notice when you start paying attention?

2. You can TAKE FROM: We all have moments in our past that were pleasurable, peaceful, and happy, even if there is pain in our Life Story. It is possible to go back in our memories and take from them the happiness that was present in those moments. If you can ever recall seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting or touching something you loved, something that added joy or brightened your day, then you have neural pathways associated with those memories. Would you be open to taking a 1/2 hour and making a list of all the things you have ever experienced that you loved? For example, can you recall seeing a beautiful sunset, or trees blooming in the spring or turning red and gold in the fall? Are you able to recall the sounds of a band playing on the 4th of July, or a summer rainstorm, or the sounds of a crackling fire in the fireplace? Can you taste the real maple syrup on a pancake or the sticky, gooiness of a roasted marshmallow? What about the smell of cinnamon, or a Honey Crisp apple, or bread baking? Are you able to recall the physical feelings of swinging in a swing, or walking barefoot in the sand on a beach, or stroking your pet? These are jewels from your past, and by recalling them you can activate the neural pathways in your brain, including the emotions and physical sensations from those moments to help you feel happier now. Notice how you feel after spending a 1/2 hour making a list of all the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and physical sensations you have experienced and loved in your life. Every time you find something new that you enjoy, add it to your list. Read through your list periodically, taking a few seconds to just imagine each memory. This is particularly helpful at night when you are calming down to go to sleep.

So, what do you recall?

3. You can PUT IN: Have you ever given encouragement or compassion, wisdom or strength to someone else…a good friend, a family member, a child, a neighbor, or even a pet? It you have, then you already have neural pathways associated with these attributes. Now, how hard would it be to give the same thing to yourself? Many people know how to give those things to others but not to themselves. Instead, they are more likely to be self-critical or even condemning if they aren’t able to live up to their own expectations. Sometimes people don’t give these things to themselves because they don’t know how, and the good news is that it is possible to learn how to do that. Sometimes people don’t offer this to themselves because they are reluctant to do so, for various reasons. (If you try to do this and find it’s really uncomfortable or impossible to give compassion and encouragement to yourself, then you would probably benefit from some therapy to release anything from your past that gets in the way.) I have seen many people learn how to do this, and it was life-changing for them. Learning to put in compassion and encouragement to yourself is part of the foundation for happiness and resilience.

What do you think it would be like to give yourself encouragement, compassion, wisdom or strength?

TAKING IN, TAKING FROM, and PUTTING IN are three ways of developing neural pathways that can help you feel happier and more satisfied with your life. That is my hope for you!