Gone Dark: Three Things That Will Help You See Your Way From Here to There
Posted on January 10, 2021 by Andrea Pagnozzi, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Seem like everyone around you is weathering change easier, and achieving all they desire quicker than you? A few quick ways to reignite your way!
I have a dear friend who, when we were younger, often opted to take the road less travelled in her pursuit of her personal goals and aspirations. By that I mean, she often lost her way by setting no upfront plan for her path forward, so that when she hit roadblocks (either by happenstance or self-imposed) she had no idea how to right the course. Having often joked that she was my first coaching client, I learned a great deal from watching her take the “scenic route” to her successes, and we recently spoke about the ways that my coaching has consistently helped her get back on track. Our conversation uncovered that in any situation where she had to right the ship and get back on course, it came down to 3 essential things: attitude, imagery, and practicality.
The first thing, attitude, was the most important aspect of getting her out of the wormholes that suspended her growth at times. Her undying positivity was paramount to how quickly she took feedback, recognized where the stumbling block appeared, and allowed her to trust the process back to the correct path. You see, there are two things you can make of life: chicken salad or chicken excrement. Not every attempt at achieving your goals will merit success, so if you deduce it to what you gain from the experience, you learn how to avoid those pitfalls and move on toward your goal faster over time. Conversely, if you go down the spiral of self-doubt, limitations and victim mentality, you will wallow where you are – sitting in the dark, disabled and cannot see the light leading you out.
The second thing, was imagery. What my friend routinely did when she had a big goal set for herself – running a marathon, becoming CEO of her own company, becoming a millionaire by 40 – she would shoot from the hip without any semblance of a plan. Vision is simply vision, without a plan. If you aren’t a runner, which she wasn’t, you cannot just run 26.2 miles in a marathon without training. Building a business without having a product or service, isn’t very conceptual, and I would be surprised if any bank would offer a loan for a business that did nothing. Moreover, a failed business would never render her a millionaire. In each of these situations, we had to unpack the vision and what it took to get there first, setting the course ahead through careful research, planning and her execution. At times when she stalled or misstep, she had to recalculate and use actually use visioning to spark some light around her goals. Whether it was seeing herself cross the finish line, or seeing her name on a letterhead with the letters CEO after her name, she used these visions to light her way. Sounds simple, but for many it works.
Finally, her aspirations were quite lofty at times. Especially when she applied deadlines to her goals that were unattainable. For example, you may be able to train for a marathon that is four months away and be prepared to finish healthy, even if you were never a runner previously. On the other hand, it is highly unlikely that you will be able to attain averaging a 6-minute mile when you run said marathon in four months. So, the third illumination for her as she pursued these goals in her life was to be practical in her expectations. In coaching her on these paths, I often had to ask her questions that normalized her outcomes that were in no way deal breakers or complacent, but set her up for a more fulfilling outcome by noting where she started from and realizing what she accomplished beyond the goal itself. This also made a big difference in avoiding stress, disappointment, and a whole host of negative energy that could bring her down, douse her flame, and extinguish her goals altogether. Incidentally, my friend went on to run five marathons over the years, led two global marketing agencies, and amassed quite a bit in the bank as well. The funny part is, when she achieved the latter two, they didn’t matter as much to her as they did when we were 22. Her ability to shift her expectations as her life changed also became effortless because she mastered these three things.
As the world begins to shift positively in the wake of 2020, and you see people around you capitalizing on these energy shifts and re-emerging with great success, know that you can too. Notice how those people approach to their goals – are they driven by positivity, do they have a plan that lights their path, and are they pragmatic in their approach? Chances are, all three things (attitude, imagery and practicality) exist for them, and they can for you as well. Sometimes it just takes the connection to a great transitional coach; one who helps you reignite the light that has been doused that will illuminate your path to succeed.
